10th November 2024
Quote of the day:
- ‘You can’t rewind the past but you can reset yourself as many times as you need’. R. Cummings November 2024
- “No act of kindness is too small. The gift of kindness may start as a small ripple that over time can turn into a tidal wave affecting the lives of many.” Kevin Heath CEO More4Kids
Week Ending Sunday 10th November 2024
A shit storm in a tea cup
To say this week has been a shambles is probably an understatement. Yet some how it’s led me to writing this blog something I’ve knowingly neglected for some time now. Which has played on my mind and made the simple task of just purely writing for joy a task in itself which I wouldn’t normally find.
I won’t go into too much detail about the turn of events as I’m conscious that it could be upsetting to some readers. I’ll simply state what started off as an instinctive ‘act of kindness’ on my part has in fact led to a wave of kindness, no sorry that’s totally wrong! I meant a tsunami of shit that followed on to today. It all started on Monday night with a visit to urgent care, with a dog bite, that ended up with an x-ray, a tetanus jab, a dressing and being sent on my merry way with some antibiotics for the next few days thinking this was quite an unfortunate state of events but hopefully it was the end of that.
However, no this was not to be the case on Tuesday night I went to a show with my friend (Simon Brodkin who is actually really funny if you want to see him) and I said to her I felt a bit cold and shaky as the evening went on it seemed to get worse. I got home and went straight to bed it was then during the night I started to feel pretty unwell; I was burning up; I felt really sick and had the rigors. This feeling was all to familiar to me as I had experienced a pretty similar version of this several years ago in hospital after my second dose of Immunotherapy. I managed to get through the night but in the morning, I was straight on to the Skin Care team and explained the turn of events. They recommended that I contact my GP so I did and got an appointment for later that morning. I told the doctor what had happened explained I had felt like this previously, showed her my tablets I had been given from urgent care and was given a new prescription for some different antibiotics. I collected these and started taking them that day. I had started to develop a rash but assumed this was just from the first set of antibiotics so carried on taking the new ones.
Wednesday went by and I felt pretty ok despite the rash still being there. Thursday came so I decided to go on a longish run being I had entered a 10K race for today (Remembrance Day) and wasn’t sure I could do the distance. That’s without considering my lack of running ability, the general short notice of deciding to enter, and the turn of events on Monday meaning my training for this run had been pretty much been non-existent. Thursday, I spent most of the day in bed bar this run as I was pretty shattered from the previous days. Friday came and again I had very little plans during the day except visiting parents and general jobs and I was going to see Lucy Beaumont at night so took it easy during the day. I did a little run just to keep my legs moving more than anything and felt fine. Lucy was funny a down to earth Northern lass from a working-class family so a comedian you can totally relate to especially the childhood stories. All in all, I was pretty unprepared but I was prepared to do the race even if it meant just finishing it and walking.
Things turn to shit in the night
Like the previous time it was in the night that things started to get worse. This time I started to burn up along with that came the swelling and horrendous itchy rash. Think of being bitten by midges or mosquitos but being so red and burnt that everything just hurts and you can’t sleep and that’s probably close to what it felt like. I was slowly counting down every waking hour until I thought it was acceptable to phone my mum and give her advance warning that she might want to come to out of hours with me. She did by some miracle actually answer her phone and said she would come round for 7.45am enough time to get there when out of hours opened. True to form…..she was late. Which I shamefully got really annoyed with and lashed out because by this point, I was in absolute agony and thought I could have just drove there myself. Later I did apologise for my little childish outburst.
See my mum is always late however at the moment she isn’t very mobile and bless her she hobbles about with a stick. In hospital people automatically assumed she was the patient and I was the carer. I had my bloods done to check there were no infections and had to wait for them to come back before seeing a doctor. When we saw the doctor, he was really nice. He suggested it may be the second dose of antibiotics I was allergic to. I was written a prescription for some steroids, a strong antihistamine and some cream to help soothe the itching (although writing this I’m profusely itching like mad as I type!)
Prescriptions were in a totally different part of the hospital which would have meant an extremely long hobble down several corridors and could have taken the best part of the day for mum. So, while I went, she decided to reside in a corridor and find a seat. For some reason she decided to pick a long chain of wheel chairs to sit in. But not just any when I returned, she was sat on the last one. When I returned about twenty minutes later, I found her looking like a porter had just dumped this little old lady and gone on their fag break. I came up behind her and asked her was she lost she chuckled and said ‘a few people have asked me that’ in a surprised tone!
When I got home, I was absolutely shattered but I couldn’t wait to open my bag of goodies in the quest to help make all this disappear. It was like opening a Christmas calendar on Christmas Eve and getting the chocolate with the luxury filling in or a paper picture of Father Christmas if you lived in my house in the 80’s!
It was a long day despite it being only 12 o’clock as I had been awake since 3am and after coming home to dog sick on the floor emotions got the better of me and I had a complete melt down. I was tired in pain, felt sick and the symptoms I was feeling were all too familiar. Maybe I was being dramatic but it just felt like all the trauma and memories from when I was really poorly in hospital just came over me. I made myself something to eat and a brew (as a good cuppa works wonders) and went to have a shower and lather myself in the cream I had been given and pray that the medication would kick in soon before going back to bed.
Did I get a better night’s sleep on Saturday NO not really. I ended up jumping in the shower a couple of times to ease the itching and then keep re-applying the cream. I also managed to find some face towels (flannels if your working class) and wet those which seemed to help with the itching a bit.
And here we are today (Sunday). I’m feeling slightly more human after yesterday was a complete write off. I’ve tried my best to stay awake all day so I can tire myself out for a good night’s rest. I’m definitely feeling better as I’ve managed to write this content however poor it may be.
I’ll set the scene in your mind as I’m typing away. I’m just out from a long lukewarm shower (as not to aggravate the rash) all lathered up head to toe in thick white cream but not in the slightest bit sexy (sorry I’m not quite there yet with the Jilly Cooper novels yet) ready to face tonight’s events hopefully with a little less itching and soreness. The flannels are just out of the freezer ready to thaw which I’m hoping will offer some comfort during the night. Herbal tea, water and paracetamol on the bedside cabinet. But as we all know the downside of steroids is they also keep you awake so I’m prepared the best I can be for a long night ahead. Wish me luck!
The morale of the story
When I first woke up, I was pretty miffed that I was not doing the Remembrance Day run and paying my respects. However ironically that’s what gave me the idea to write it because I did contemplate the thought ‘if I hadn’t have helped out in a way that I did on Monday night……’. But then I came to the conclusion instinct took over and I probably would have done the same again if it happened. I was just in the right place at the wrong time. Which subsequently led to list of tragedies and mild misfortunes for me. But what my little ripple of kindness did produce was waves of kindness but not in the way I expected. See it didn’t set off waves of kindness from me. The kindness came in abundance from other sources such as;
From the various urgent care staff, doctors and nurses treating me, to my mum sitting with me in A&E for hours. I know the hospital can look like the aftermath of a war zone at the best of times and could do with a ‘good wash at best’ but I have to say in all my appointments and drop ins this week I had been dealt with promptly and efficiently each time. And as horrible as it’s been at least now I know I’m potentially allergic to penicillin which is useful to know to keep on my medical records. Thank you to our NHS… I would certainly be lost without it. Kindness also came from messages from my sister and friends checking in and offering to help. I even got a brew off and an offer of help from Archie when he saw how upset I was which was nice.
It also made me think especially on Remembrance Day how lucky I am just to be here due to those that sacrificed their lives before us. In comparison my woes are minuscule to anything they would have had to witness and endure. And how lucky are we that today we have people who are willing to sacrifice their time, effort and dedication and sometimes lives to help keeping us safe. I think it takes a special kind of person to do that so if you are one of those then THANK YOU from the bottom of my heart x
Lessons Learned
- If you’ve had a bad week just reset for this week use what’s happened as experience.
- When you’re hurting it’s funny how what was painful no longer is when something else comes along (my finger being one). Maybe there is some truth to the phrase ‘I’ll give you something to cry about’ often said by parents to a moaning child.
- We can all get tired an emotional sometimes it’s not always a sign of weakness it’s just a sign you’re human.
- Kindness is a great thing to give and an even better thing to receive
