You think you're doing great then it creeps up behind
Worries and thoughts you've kept deep in your mind
Thoughts you can't share to those that care
For those are the ones whom you should protect, not scare
Such a voice of worry and upset in your head
But to everyone else it's done and dead
You were the one that fought this and won
Carry on with your life now as that chapters done
But do they know there's not a day goes by
Where you don't question a thought to what if and why?
Every niggle and pain plants a doubt in your brain
For every success story you hear there's always one in vain
Happy times and sad times you just never know
When the tsunami of emotions is going to show
It's not being negative or wallowing in self pity
It's the aftermath of this disease and yes it's shitty
But you can't let it win or take control of your mind
You need to accept it's there and try to be kind
Acknowledge where you are now and what you've become
The love that it's brought, challenges overcome
For every negative it's brought there's a positive close by
It's what we need to hold onto for those days which end in what if and why?
R Cummings 16th November 2019
The battle – a lesson in life
The battle – a lesson in life
You chose to appear in my life, why I’ll never know
Blissfully unaware you continued to grow
A disease so cruel there once was no cure
How you got there, I’ll never be sure
You turned my world upside down, brought a whirlwind of pain
Yet of all the heartache and tears so much I have gained
You taught me unconditional love of family and friends
Who’d stand by my side until the bitter end
You taught me to fight for what was already mine
The ultimate battle, the prize more time
I shed my last tear brought on by your fear
We continued to fight for over a year
I wear you scars with pride, no reason to hide
Yet these just scratch the surface, of the ones deep inside
Sometimes I got lost and searched deep to find
A strength inside me to keep a positive mind
My choices were my power with medicine too
A deadly combination my strength grew and grew
I persisted and prayed
Your poison I slayed
And through sheer grit and strength
You crumbled at my defence
In just over a year
You’re no longer here
Those words I’d long to hear,
“I’ve been given the all clear”
It’s a true miracle for sure
To be given a cure
One I’ll hold dear
For those no longer here
See that ultimate prize
Has opened my eyes
To the beauty in life
Even in modern day strife
I can feel the air in my lungs and the breeze on my face
Cherish those moments of laughter and every embrace
For my prize is invaluable no money can buy
And we can all gain a little if only we try
I’ll continue my message and to be grateful for each day
As you just never know when it could be taken away
R Cummings
24th September 2018
A cancer survivor
Get through today
It’s the morning you say
A brand new day
Stretch your arms open wide
And breathe deep inside
For a minute your free
And your eyes they can see
A mind that is clear
Of worries and fears
Of if only it would stay
Forever in each day
How free I would be
And be the happier me
To see the true beauty of what I’m surround
to rediscover true loves once had I found
But todays not the day
It’s not here to stay
But there’s always tomorrow
That’s a day without sorrow
So get through today and be the best that I can
For tomorrow might just bring a whole new plan
R Cummings 24th Feb 2017
The cats out the bag
The cats out the bag
The tongues may wag
But the ones who care
Are already there
No longer ashamed or reason to hide
Head held high to beat this with pride
Of what I’ve read and heard
At times yes I’m scared
But thoughts and fears
Lead to worries and tears
Oh but it’s alright to cry every once in a while
And when you’ve let it all out wipe those tears with a smile
See a smile is infectious to all that you see
And a smile received back makes a happier me
Positivity and well-being shine through my soul
Nothing stands in the way of achieving my goal
And with the help and support from people I greet
This cancer I will conquer and once for all defeat
R Cummings 5th January 2017
I was lost until I found myself
I was lost until I found myself
I was in debt until I understood true wealth.
I was broken until I learned what to fix.
I reached my limits until I tore down those bricks.
I was unsure until I discovered me.
I was trapped until I set myself free.
I was scared until I understood my fears.
Inconsolable until I shared my tears.
I was weak until I had to be strong
To face it alone I’m glad I was wrong
I felt no one cared until you showed me my worth.
With love together we’ll move heaven and earth.
R 11/09/2017