You think you're doing great then it creeps up behind
Worries and thoughts you've kept deep in your mind
Thoughts you can't share to those that care
For those are the ones whom you should protect, not scare
Such a voice of worry and upset in your head
But to everyone else it's done and dead
You were the one that fought this and won
Carry on with your life now as that chapters done
But do they know there's not a day goes by
Where you don't question a thought to what if and why?
Every niggle and pain plants a doubt in your brain
For every success story you hear there's always one in vain
Happy times and sad times you just never know
When the tsunami of emotions is going to show
It's not being negative or wallowing in self pity
It's the aftermath of this disease and yes it's shitty
But you can't let it win or take control of your mind
You need to accept it's there and try to be kind
Acknowledge where you are now and what you've become
The love that it's brought, challenges overcome
For every negative it's brought there's a positive close by
It's what we need to hold onto for those days which end in what if and why?
R Cummings 16th November 2019
