All good things come to an end

Quote of the day:

• Memories are beautiful as well as painful
• ‘Children will not remember you for the material things you provided but for the feeling that you cherished them’ – Richard K Evans

All good things come to an end

This last week was a very testing week we sold my pride and joy campervan and I said my final fair wells to a dear friend Louise whom I’ve known for probably the best part of 20 years.

The campervan was collected early in the week and when the guy drove off. I have to admit that when I went inside the house, I did shed several tears. See I like to think that I’m not very materialistic, don’t get me wrong I’m certainly no monk but this van had been my pride and joy for over 3 years. I had invested a lot of time, effort, not to mention money into it. But for me the reason I was most upset was because we had bought this van when I had started to get ‘better’ on my 38^th birthday as a treat for the immunotherapy working and my Melanoma disappearing. It was a symbol of succeeding and what great memories and trips as a family that were to come.

However, four years on and it was stuck on the drive like a battery hen with little movement, not living to it’s full potential as I had been unable to drive due to the brain tumours and seizures. So, we thought the kindest and wisest thing to do was to sell the van and let it be free (or free range) once more. The reason I was so upset was not because of the actual van because that’s just made of materials metal and wheels, but because of the memories we had made and could have made in the future. The places we could have visited.

Some of my best memories of our time with the van have been;

1. When I went solo camping with Archie, I managed to put the side awning up all by myself (Archie will probably argue he ‘helped’ to do this) and at 5ft 1 this is no mean feat. On this same trip a bird happened to not only fly in the tent but actually shit all over the new inflatable chairs and tent carpet in the process. I’m not sure if it was an act of vengeance or panic but it was a mess to say the least.
2.  When we first got the van and took a trip out, we stopped at the nearest services and got something to eat. I wanted to test out the swivel chair. It was pouring down with rain and Ste somehow managed to swivel the base the wrong way round and his feet were that wet it just made the whole situation worse. Now if anyone knows Ste, he is not what I’d call the most laid back of people and in this sort of situation you can’t offer tips of advice for fear of getting your head chewed off. I just sat in the back with the kids in complete silence wondering whether I should start my sandwich trying not to laugh. From the outside the van was certainly rocking but not in the way people may have thought.
3. Me and Ste took a child free trip to the Lakes and went walking for miles. You know the one where you sort of remember why you actually liked each other before the kids came along and sucked all the fun and romance out of you both.

I am glad to say the van did go to a nice family with young children whom I hope will go on lots of adventures and make lots of memories on the way.

All bad things must come to an end

In life there will always be pain and suffering and this last week was certainly one of them. It’s often when I question religion and faith. All I know is 40 is far too young to die and to leave behind a fiancée and two beautiful children let alone a mum and dad, sister, friends and family. No-one should have to go through what she endured over the past 18 months, yet again to the shit that is cancer, this time it was another form (blood cancer https://www.dkms.org.uk/learn-more/blood-cancer/leukaemia).  How do you begin to justify that? Why do bad things always seem to happen to good people?

However, it’s the moments of happiness that does and will get us through. Just when you think you can’t endure anymore there are little snippets of happiness that makes us feel we can carry on. I can definitely say our girls group chats will never be the same again. There will always be that little gem missing. Things will hopefully get easier with time and we can look back and celebrate years of friendship the holidays, the drunken nights out, the meals and the concerts with smiles on our faces glad that we shared those memories together although they came to an end far sooner than anyone would have liked. And through those memories we and her family can make sure that her children never forget what a brave, fun and kind soul she was. I will save those memories to share for times when we do get together again and to celebrate birthdays or just to get together, just because.

Because in the end memories are worth far more than any van or house for that matter. We owe it to those who are no longer with us to live our lives and create as many memories as we can. Go to the places they enjoyed. See and experience the things that they wanted to do and never got the chance. In that way their lives will always have meaning and purpose.

If anyone reading this would like to donate in memory of my friend Louise, I know her family would really like donations to go to East Lancs Hospice who cared for her.

https://eastlancshospice.org.uk/donate

Lessons Learned

1. Where the is happiness there will always be sadness but that is how we know there is love
2. Regardless of religion and beliefs we can all strive to be better, kinder, happier people to have hope and to leave a legacy to those whom we love the most.
3. Memories are the most vital commodity make sure they’re good ones.