Destination Nowhere

The bit I wasn’t going to include

I wasn’t going to type this but then I realised that if I didn’t it wasn’t giving everyone the full picture and at the same time apologise for not typing sooner knowing that I don’t really need to apologise. It’s just that the brain is such a complex machine and sometimes it just needs a bit of a reboot (rest). Hopefully it will make sense later on in the blog but I had a bit of a seizure whilst away a few weeks ago. Since then, it seems to have set me back a bit in that I have struggled to be able to find the words and connect them to the keyboard which thankfully hasn’t been an issue previously. The best way I can try to explain is that it’s pretty much like I’ve blown a fuse somewhere and it’s just taking a bit longer that normal to replace with a new one. I have struggled with things like basic motor skills, handwriting and spelling although they slowly seem to be coming back. I will find myself not joining in with conversations as I can’t find the words that I want to say as quickly as I normally would do.

I started this particular blog before I went away in the hope that I would have a positive holiday story being the previous holiday had been a disaster, however that didn’t happen either. Although it’s taken me a lot of redrafts (I think this is about number 20),  at one point every time I tried to write it just didn’t make sense i.e. my brain, keyboard and thoughts just weren’t connecting like they normally do. I do hope this is just a temporary glitch, however if not please bear with me.

‘If mistakes weren’t meant to happen why was the delete button and back space invented on a keyboard, no one get’s things right first time’ – R Cummings

Love Rachel x

Quotations

‘A man travels the world over in search of what he needs and returns home to find it’ George Moore

‘Do not dwell in the past, do not dream of the future, concentrate the mind on the present’ Buddha

Destination Nowhere

It’s the summer holidays and the time when people normally take a well-earned break from work in order to recharge their batteries. It seems everyone has such busy lifestyles that they seem to forget that they need to take breaks every now and then. I used to work with someone many years ago and he refused to take annual leave I think it gave him a purpose I couldn’t understand this. For me I used to cherish the time I got to spend with Ste and the kids or the odd days off from work maybe to catch up with a friend. Don’t get me wrong I would have to do the double amount of work to play catch up before and after which often did make me wonder why I bothered going away in the first place. But once that out of office was on it was like a whole weight was lifted and I could properly unwind.

This year I think more and more people are going away and taking the opportunity to travel abroad as for almost 2 years this was pretty much impossible for most people due to COVID. For me and my family. Unfortunately, a trip abroad at the moment is pretty much a pipeline dream however I’m not losing hope for the future as I do want to see more of the world even if it’s a small city breaks or maybe even places we haven’t explored in this country. We’re also lucky enough that my parents have a caravan in North Wales so we can always use that more or less whenever we want from March to October it’s just the logistics at the moment with Ste working and not having very many days leave and me being unable to drive and sometimes not being fit enough to go.

Bad Holiday Luck

It seems we haven’t always had the best of luck when it’s come down to holidays a couple of examples being;

• The year we decided to go to our friend’s wedding in Lake Como the kids were really young and we left them at home (not on their own obviously). We hadn’t booked on with the original wedding party and got our own flights at the very last minute (this being the first of many mistakes that were to occur that weekend). It pretty much started going wrong before we took off with some engine failure at Manchester which meant we missed the connecting flights, finally getting on the last ferry to Lake Como only to get off a find there are two stops to Lake Como and this was not it. It was pretty humid that night and not many people about so we started to walk in the hope of flagging down a taxi. Two hours later, swollen fankles with the heat I didn’t dare ask the obvious question to Ste of do you actually know where you’re going? To make matters worse the wheel on our Samsonite suitcase literally burnt off as if in protest leaving Ste to carry it on two wheels. We finally found a sister hotel from a booking refence who finally got us to the hotel in a taxi albeit several hours later. It was that late at night we missed the nice child free evening meal and just settled for a bottle of white wine and bread rolls on offer. The fun didn’t stop there for this trip I was sick on the day of the wedding and if anyone knows Italian weddings, they like a course (6 I think it was in total), it wasn’t that there was anything wrong with the meal it looked lovely. But it just kept on coming. I had to keep getting up to go to the toilet to be sick. Ironically, I’m pretty rubbish about being able to be sick. I’ll endure all the sweats and aches sometimes for hours but I’ll open my mouth and nothing will come out. I reckon it must be because we had it engrained in us as kids not to waste food!! Ste also managed on the same trip to lose his phone in the taxi on the way home to the airport. Luckily someone from the wedding party collected it at the hotel a couple of days later and brought it home. Having said all that we still had a great time with our friends it was a lovely wedding (what we go to see of it) and we did eventually get home.

• The time we went to Devon with the kids. We had a great time up until the point when the car decided to pack in. We ended up spending a good few days trying to sort it out and taking it to a garage only to be told it couldn’t be fixed so had to find and pay for a recovery truck to drive it the whole 200+ miles back home. While we had to go home on the train.  Still having to pay to get the car sorted when we got home. I reckon a 5-star cruise to the Caribbean would have been cheaper for us than that holiday.

• Another time on holiday one of the kids had an ‘accident’ at the side of the pool which left a bit of a mess to say the least and me having to warn people passing not to slip in it whilst trying to rush said child to the toilet to sort it out. Ironically later on that same day in the same pool some kid also decided to also have an ‘accident’ to which I found myself protesting a bit too much to the fact that it couldn’t be my child’s as it was certainly more solid and floaty as I pointed to it bobbing around the pool. We later found out that there was a case of food poising going round and Ste and our friend we had gone with ended up spending the last day of the holiday ill in bed.

There are plenty more stories like this which does make me wonder why don’t we just stay at home. We thought this year after a few disasters and COVID things we going to be different. Earlier on in the year we booked a couple of UK breaks away. Not too far just in case anything did happen in terms of seizures, appointments and scans. I’d like to say we really enjoyed them both but if I’m totally honest they ended up being a bit of how can I put this? A bit of a shit show.

Don’t Believe What you read in the papers!!

The first one was one of those holidays you collect coupons from the paper (we didn’t we just bought them from Ebay). It was pretty local and for some reason in my head I thought it was at another location we had been to before and enjoyed (I later realised this couldn’t have been further from the truth). After, booking we made the mistake of reading the reviews on trip advisor. It was only an hour away and it was only for the weekend so we decided to take the plunge and go after all how bad could it be? When we arrived at the gate the man stood there couldn’t have been more friendly. He told us to check in so we did and again to be honest all the staff were more than welcoming. He gave us our apartment number and we parked up. We were on the second floor of a square block of apartments. Someone had already hung their Man City flag on the apartment balcony across you know like they do when you’re abroad.

I tried to go with an open mind but the accommodation was pretty dyer to say the least. Ste took one look at me and knew I wouldn’t feel comfortable staying there. It’s not that I’m a snob or my house is that clean for that matter it’s just that I have certain ‘quirks’ which I think I’ve mentioned before. For example, I used to hate sharing drinks with anyone, would always put toilet paper around the seat when going public places or if we went away and the cutlery draw was dirty then I would have to clean it (in this case it was). I would have to ensure everything had been washed and surfaces wiped down beforehand. The apartment unfortunately just wasn’t clean from the kitchen, the sofa bed, the table, the bedrooms and the toilet. It had definitely been neglected on the cleaning front and over the years by the looks of it. It was that bad the kids had adopted the approach of it’s that dirty we’re not putting our bags on the floor. I decided to send them to the shop for cleaning stuff as they weren’t helping the whole situation while me and Ste tried to decide what to do.

We decided that we would stay for one night and use it as a base. The kids came back and I told them to eat their pot noodles (which they thought were a right treat) and sent them to the arcades whilst I wiped down the whole room including the front door and handle. When they did come back Archie was pretty happy being he had found the arcades and grabber machines. Daisy on the other hand decided she wasn’t going to stop in the room and asked if she could sleep in the car. At this point I thought who is this monster I have brought up then I realised maybe the apple doesn’t fall too far from the tree. See like me she’s comfortable in her own surroundings (squaller) and it needs to feel homely. May I also add at this point if you have seen Daisy’s room you would most likely question her objection.

So, after a few tears mainly mine as yet again I’d made a bad decision, we decided we would drive back home. Driving out of the ‘complex’ it reminded of somewhere between an abandoned power plant and abandoned 80’s holiday camp. The security guard who had only greeted us about 1 hour earlier tried to convince us and the kids that we would miss out on all the fun. He may have been right as I do love a good game of bingo and cheesy evening entertainment but like with most things as a family if were not all fully on board then none of us are. We can’t force anyone to do what they don’ want. The security guard opened the gate at this point nearly having a hernia lifting it as it wasn’t one off these fancy electric barriers. We drove out and decided we would take a quick stroll along the beach before we drove home. It was at this point we walked over the hazy sand dunes (someone was smoking weed) to see a beach full of people parked up families, young people with disposable BBQ’s, playing foorball. They all had one thing in common they were laughing and having fun and at that point a waive of guilt came over me which I carried all the way home and the realisation that people don’t need fancy holidays to enjoy themselves they just need the simple things in life.

I was definitely pleased to see my own bed that night and it did turn out to be a nice weekend, we had a day out at Lytham and then went to a steam fayre and managed to meet up with some friends there. Ironically, I think looking online we saved all in all about £80 quid for booking it that way and that didn’t include cleaning products, buying the vouchers or pot noodles. Should you happen to book there make sure you ask for apartment 38 it should be spotless.

Carry On Camping

We had a week booked at Drayton Manor this was a rebook of a holiday that I had to cancel last September when I found the start of my brain tumour diagnosis. To be honest Ste and I were both really looking forward to it. He definitely needed a break as hadn’t had one and I was looking forward to seeing the kids enjoy themselves. We were in one of these ready camps but it was literally right next to the theme park so it was a great location. We hadn’t got their until later on the Monday so we decided to book the theme park the day after. I obviously couldn’t go on many rides (I however did manage the steeple chase where the average age is about 6 and the river rapids which is probably more therapeutic than anything). The kids however had a great time and enjoyed going on a few rides and I enjoyed being chief bag holder. We went back to the tent and I had a rest while the kids went back to the park the plan was for me and Ste to go to the zoo part later where it would be a lot quieter and just let the kids wander off on their own being they’re both old enough now. It was all going really well up until we got a phone call from Archie. He had gone on a ride with Daisy which resulted in him throwing up everywhere (he’s never been great with rides or sick for that matter). Daisy being the caring sibling walked off and left him on his own as she can’t deal with sick. Archie got the hump as he was obviously slightly embarrassed at this point and me and Ste then got the brunt of it.

Next day it was Daisy’s turn to be ‘difficult’ she decided to get the hump over some comment I made in jest. But then continued with this several hours afterwards not only ruining a nice day we had had but ruining a nice (expensive meal in the process). It was at this point I tried to cheer Ste up and we walked off on our own to the hotel grounds and Ste decided to get a drink (up until this point he hadn’t drunk) we played cards and remembered the good times before we had kids looking at other kids behaving themselves wondering where we had gone wrong. (I know you always do that when your kids are being arseholes, 5 minutes later we saw one being an arsehole and I felt relieved it wasn’t just mine). Later on Archie joined us, Daisy was still pretty much set in the mood for the rest of the evening. We played a couple of games of cards and it was nice but we headed back to the tent not to leave Daisy on her own for too long.

It was then I started to feel ‘not right’ luckily we had already been in bed reading as we decided we had had enough for one day. I woke Ste up who knew at this point knew I was having a seizure. I tried to speak and just garbage came out (maybe not for the only time I bet some of you are thinking). He pretty much knows what to do now he rammed an extra dose of Keppra down me and just waited. I started to come round I think it was the brew that helped (I do love a brew). Ste didn’t say but I knew he was googling the nearest A&E just in case. I had to be escorted to the toilet as its then I’m not always in control of my water works or the ability to ask to be taken to the toilet and camping isn’t exactly the easiest place to have a seizure. I couldn’t have picked a worse time or worse place to do it especially as he had a couple of drinks. I just think the stress of worrying over the kids (teenagers) had got too much for me along with a few pretty busy days of noise and walking. In the morning the plan was to take the kids back to the theme park for another day in the hope to revive the holiday but to be honest we just thought it was better to cut our losses and get home.

It’s been a couple of weeks or so since all this happened and were all pretty much friends now but I am glad to be back home. Unfortunately, I’ve not been fit for much since and Ste’s holiday was pretty rubbish which for that I do feel bad. We did at least enjoy the theme park (well almost). Seizures are sometimes a bit like teenagers and adults for that matter in that you can’t predict their behaviour. I could have lied and said we had a great time but unfortunately we didn’t. I won’t dwell on it though as were family and we stick together through the good times and the tough times and there are always more good times to come. There will be more holidays in the future hopefully and if not day trips or even stay cations.

Lessons Learned

1. Don’t rely on siblings to look after each other if there’s sick involved.
2. You don’t need fancy vacations and trips to enjoy yourself. Stay cations can be just as good probably a little easier, safer in our case and a lot less expensive.
3. Don’t book a holiday with the Cummings family unless you accept full liability that you may need multiple modes of transport (trains, planes & automobiles) and possibly a trip to A&E.
4. Kids and adults can be unpredictable at times. We can all have crap DAYS but that’s just what they are we can’t beat ourselves up or dwell on them for too long as the only people that suffer are ourselves.