Communicate. Even when it’s uncomfortable or uneasy. One of the best ways to heal is simply getting everything out – Unknown
What’s the bravest thing you’ve ever said? Asked the boy ‘Help’ said the horse – Charlie Mackesy
It’s good to talk
I think there’s something in the family where we all like to have a ‘camp’. Today was a prime example of that. I nipped into town to get some clothes altered then bumped into someone from walking netball, then later my mum, then my cousin and husband then my auntie. There we were all stood around the butchers in the market having a chat about peas, pies and cakes. But that’s why I like where we live so much. When I was working all hours and travelling, I didn’t have time for that and shamefully never really made time for my parents. That’s because we get so caught up in our own lives we sometimes forget about others, well it’s not that we forget we put it off because we’re tired or we’re busy etc.
I’ve come to realise I really couldn’t live in a city where you are just an unknown face. I definitely need to be part of a community and I think a lot of people thrive in close knit communities. In fact, studies have been shown that communities which are closer, interact more and help more tend to live longer happier lives (there is a really good book on this called Ikigai if you want to read).
Now if anyone knows my mum, she can talk to anyone and has been known to talk a glass eye to sleep (ha ha). Unfortunately, I think I have developed this trait much to my husband’s annoyance. I talk to people because I am genuinely interested in how they are doing, feeling and want them to know that I actually care. I don’t do it to strangers because that would be weird but I do smile at them. So, if you see a small lady, possibly wearing headphones smiling at you maybe twitching, don’t panic I’m not about to attack you I’m just being friendly and sometimes that’s all someone needs in the moment.
I think a lot of problems could be solved with a good cup of tea and a chat. I’m always here if anyone wants to talk. If you bore me, I’ll just put my noise cancelling head phones on don’t worry.
Remember you never know what someone is going through so just be kind always whenever you can.
Day 6 100 squats done in the gym
Sausages (veggie ones for me) and sparklers at ours tonight a chat at the table about how everyone has got on today. Simple things
A little bit of something we fancy does us good every now and then
‘If you have the ability to love, love yourself first’ – Charles Bukwoski
As humans most of us have this in-built desire to care for others. I say most of us as there are probably some individuals that run exception to the rule (I’m not quite sure what the medical term is for it all that is currently springing to the forefront of my mind is selfish bastards?!)
For the rest of us who seem to have adopted this caring nature whether that be for our children, our significant others, parents, family members or those who choose to care for others as part of their profession such as doctors, nurses, health care workers, care workers. The most important rule I think you should adopt is that in order to give others the best care you possibly can you must make self-care a priority.
We all know that when trying to care for others on limited sleep, energy and time isn’t easy. I was all too familiar with this when the kids where very young I was working full time stressful job as well as trying to be the perfect mum and often neglected my health as a result.
It’s safe to say that more recently I have been on the receiving end of the care not only from my husband but my parents, friends but also the professional team of doctors and nurses and for that I’m truly grateful. I often see my friends taking care of other family members and I can see the strain on their faces and tiredness in their voices. I would totally do the same if my family was poorly that’s what families do. It’s easy to say but make sure you always make time for yourself. You can’t constantly pour from an empty cup.
Do something for you every day whether that be time out reading, exercising or just relaxing then you will have more time (and patience) for others
Treat yourself you deserve to whether that’s a candle, a bunch of flowers or just a nice hot bath
If you feel like you’re burning out maybe talk to someone and share the load. You will be surprised of what help is out there and who may be willing to share the load
Today, this afternoon I’m feeling tired, but I’ve just had a rest so hopefully will come too in a bit. I’m starting to feel the pressure of writing every day (who would have thought I’d struggle for stuff to talk about!) Your words of encouragement are definitely spurring me on though so thank you for that.
I’ve done my squats and exercise for the day and even treated myself to some bonfire toffee and lollies (because if you know me it’s one of my favourite days of the year). The fireworks lighting up the skies bring back so many fantastic childhood memories. So, enjoy your evenings and if your going to a bonfire take care and be safe. If you’re not maybe just treat yourself to a nice glass of wine or a bath and watch through the window.
‘Show me that the good life doesn’t consist in length, but in its use, and that it is possible – no entirely too common – for a person who has had a long life to have lived too little.’ Seneca, Moral Letters, 49.10b’
3rd November 2023
Live Your Life
Tonight, I’m sat in front of a lovely roaring fire, my dog Woody staring at me, Stand Up to Cancer is on in the background which is the whole reason why I’m doing the 100 squats a day challenge and writing these blogs for 30 days.
I remember when I was first diagnosed 6 years ago, we went away one October half term. We had just been to a nearby adventure park and did a 100ft plummet as well as rode on a forest toboggan. It was a fantastic day, one which I will always remember the fear, adrenaline and natural protection of each of my children as I plummeted down both the fall and the toboggan ride. That night we sat in the cosy caravan watching Stand Up to Cancer. At the time it said that 1 in 4 people will be affected by cancer in their life time. There we were. I was our 1 in 4 but I was sort of glad that if it had to be 1 of us it was me. How ever scared I was of what the future would hold for me.
This evening tonight, it’s now 1 in 2. So, in 6 years it’s doubled the amount of people affected by cancer. It’s so scary and I believe our lifestyles and processed food have a lot to play in that (but that’s another blog). That’s why it’s so important we keep on funding for research to help find causes and treatment to all cancers.
Watching programmes like this can be quite hard and heart warming in equal measures. I know I won’t be able to get through the night without shedding a tear. In fact, I’ve put it on silent now so I can concentrate and not get to upset whilst writing this blog. (Plus, I’m particularly bad at multi-tasking…. I should have been a man!!).
No one knows how long we have on this planet. That’s why it’s so important that we live our lives to the fullest that we can. Live in the moment. Enjoy the simple things, not materialistic items. Make the most of our health, visit exciting places, go outside our comfort zones. Help others, be kind, love with all your heart. Grab opportunities that come your way, who knows what exciting paths they may lead you to. Leave your mark and legacy in this world how ever short your presence is.
That’s what I intend to do in honour of all of those who haven’t had the privilege to do so.
Have a great evening, see you tomorrow x
P.S I’ve done my 100 squats for today and have had a great day catching up with my lovely mum and some friends for a little bit.
