27th November 2023
Quote of the day
- “It’s your reaction to adversity, not adversity itself that determines how your life’s story will develop.” – Dieter F. Uchtdorf
Day 27
I’s day 27 of the 100 squat a day challenge for November. I’ve done my 100 for today I broke it down into sections and the back is holding out.
Learning the Art of Resilience
I think one of the skills I’ve had to develop as I’ve grown older is ‘resilience’. In my career in the early days, it was quite often a male dominated environment. I had to get used to the comments and heckles especially going to site being 5ft nothing, female in a clean hi-vis you would be a prime target. To be honest quite often I laughed it off. It didn’t bother me at all like everyone (regardless of gender) you had to prove yourself to gain some respect which I think did in the end. I’ve even made friends whom I am still in contact with today. It was more in my mid to late 20’s in a private company when it was so clear that Surveyors less qualified than me were getting the easy jobs, going on golf trips, skiing trips, then getting big bonuses at the end of the year when they hadn’t even made a profit. I would often have to work twice as hard to get this and did so, in the hope of to trying to prove my worth. It was unfair but at the time having a young family I thought there was no other option than to accept it. Then one day it came to a decision it was either my family that would break or my job. Obviously, I chose my family over my job.
At the time I mistakenly thought it was the only place that would take on a woman like myself (whom wanted to work part time and had very young children). This company however did teach me resilience and thick skin. I did find another job close by and there again I was given around 30 projects to manage. This wasn’t in anyway sustainable but this time I decided I wasn’t going to accept it like I had done so many years before. I highlighted it to the boss whom did nothing about it, so I moved on very quickly. Luckily, I found a job in Manchester it was a totally different environment, you weren’t expected to work all hours. You worked hard got paid what you invoiced for and you did your bit and just got on with it. It was a breath of fresh air. I was respected. People were treated equally; women were treated equally. This is what companies should be like.
Thankfully the industry has massively changed since I started not just in the construction industry in all sectors. More people are allowed to do flexible hybrid working. There is a big push for employee’s wellbeing and their working environments. At my last place I was extremely looked after and I like to think well respected. If I hadn’t had gone through the bad experiences at work in my previous companies, I would have never had the courage to move on to something better. I still have friends here that check in on me to see how I’m doing and that feels good. All I think I ever wanted was to be valued and that just doesn’t apply to my career, it applies in relationships in friendships too.
Throughout my cancer journey I have had to try and remain resilient not once but twice. The first time nearly broke me it was totally unknown but then I somehow managed to get through it. This second time has challenged me in so many ways physically, emotionally and mentally but this thick resilient skin I have developed the one through all the years of constantly having things thrown at me to see if I would break. These are the things that have given me the strength to carry on and, in some ways, been able to give a middle finger to statistics and to cancer.
Because I know for every shit situation and no matter how many times you fall down there is always someone that will pick you up when you least expect it. There is always someone cheering you on from the sidelines when you aren’t looking. These are the people and things that have sprung me back like a stretched coil on many occasions when I could have quite easy given up. The comments from people that give me hope even when they are suffering themselves. This is what keeps me going. This is what will always keep me going regardless what is thrown in my way.
So, while my back maybe slightly damaged, I won’t let it stop me when I have come so far on this challenge!
I will definitely see you tomorrow x
Lessons learnt on reliance
- When you feel your resilience is being tested be reminded that it is these testing times that will show your true strength
- Always know your value even when others don’t.
- There is always someone rooting for you from the sidelines when you least expect it
- You can be easily replaced at work but not at home
