In life no matter who you are there will always be things that come natural to you and things that don’t. There maybe things you haven’t yet discovered you’re good at yet because you haven’t tried. That’s the great thing about life having opportunity to try new things and not being afraid to be well pretty sh1t at them at first. Every master was once the apprentice.
I honestly believe we’re all built to have different abilities and capabilities to add some value to this world. It could be you’re really good at art, baking, sewing, plastering, joinery, science, naturally talented in sport or music there are an endless list of things. Our brains and bodies are so amazing, we are all totally unique.
People who are successful in life (what ever that maybe) will have consistently played to their strengths time and time again. But even successful people will need to continually put the effort in to continue to succeed and become even better version of themselves. This also means you need to acknowledge your weaknesses.
When I think about this I’m often reminded of the scene in The Office where it’s Big Keith’s (the accountant) appraisal and David Brent asks him what are his strengths and he just put ‘accounts’. Then he says under weaknesses you’ve put eczema. I chuckle every time thinking of that. Brilliant programme.
So, here’s a thing I want you to do today write down 5 of your strengths. It can be absolutely anything doesn’t have to be work related it can be something regarding a sport or an emotion or skill. I’d maybe be a bit more specific than Keith though and avoid writing anything regarding any ailments or illnesses out of your control.
Now I want to you to write down 5 weaknesses regarding that strength. I’ll give you an example of a couple of mine;
Strengths: Writing
Weakness; Being consistent, my grammar
Strength: Being kind
Weakness: Over sensitive, worry what others think
Strength: Strong legs
Weakness: Poor balance, mobility and weak glute
If you’re anything like me you will find it harder to write down your strengths and be more critical about your weaknesses. We are often so critical of ourselves we forget all our achievements. Now for the remainder of the month if you can I want you to work on the weaknesses that you have identified even if it’s jut one element. I’m going to try and would love to see at the end of the month if by working on or acknowledging our weakness we also might improve a little of our strengths.
That’s it for today I’ve already ticked off my 100 squats. One of the kids were complaining about a sore back so I’m not holding my breath they will complete today’s challenge but I can’t force them that’s something I am slowly learning and working on. I can’t force others to always do the same as me.
Remember no-one is perfect, we all have our flaws but it doesn’t mean we can’t become better versions of ourselves it just requires a little bit of effort and consistency. Something I’m trying to work on myself
‘Grief is the price we pay for love’ Queen Elizabeth 2nd
‘It’s not important how long you’re here for it’s the impact and ripple effect you have on generations to come that matters’ -R Cummings
Long Live the Queen
This past week has been a week that will have more than likely affected the whole nation arguably the world. On Thursday 8th September 2022 we were given the sad news that our beloved Queen had passed away at Balmoral Castle surrounded by those she loved. Even typing this now (at 3.46am) I have a tear in my eye. Whatever your opinion on the Monarchy or Royal Family you cannot argue that this woman was a remarkable woman who lived her life serving her country and others. She was an inspiration to us all one that will certainly go down in history and I myself feel privileged to live in a time when she reigned as Queen.
See I think what has shaken the nation so much is that we thought she would live forever. We took it for granted like we probably do our own families that they would be around forever. Unfortunately, this is not the case as humans we are not immortal, we do not live forever. From the moment we are born we are living but also dying at the same time. Our life in this world is very short and it’s times like this we should use to tell/show the people we love just that, that we do love them. It’s great to see so many people doing that showing their respects to the Queen in many different ways travelling miles to lay flowers and queuing for hours just to walk past her coffin. And to her family and our new King Charles 3rd (still seems strange saying that) in what must be an extremely difficult time serving the nation in such a public way whilst grieving for their own mother, grandmother at the same time (I think she would be extremely proud).
Family History
Family history is so important in understanding who we are, where we came from and can potentially help us in the future (i.e., medical conditions). I can understand why so many people are interested in genealogy trying to find out where they came from. It’s only recently I’m ashamed to say that I found out my dad actually lived in a small Welsh village Llangernyw near Conwy and that some of my ancestors are actually buried in the grounds of Saint Digain’s Church. Which is also thought to have one of the oldest Yew Trees in history thought to be around 4,000-5,000 years old. Now me as a QS/Commercial Manager I’m thinking that a big margin of error but I suppose no one can argue the fact (because their unlikely to be around) either way it’s pretty old and has been designated one of fifty great British Trees.
Me & the kids on the Yew TreeSte on the Yew Tree
Yew trees are associated both with death and immortality and I find it quite surreal that there happens to be one located in my families ‘back yard’ so to speak. Not only that it’s pretty amazing to look at and to think that this tree has been around for so many years and will more than likely be around for many more.
Longevity Water
It’s here in this village that my dad visited the church back in 2017 from my original Stage 4 Melanoma diagnosis. Has he been there before most likely I’m not actually quite sure I will have to ask, see that’s the key to finding out more about your family history is you need to actually ask, both my parents are of the generation that they just ‘cracked’ on so to speak and whether it’s because they didn’t talk much or as a teenager growing up I was more interested in going out and having fun than finding out about where I came from (not the bees and the birds) or a mixture of both. It’s only now in recent years that I’ve found out things about my family I didn’t know. So, a word of advice if you want to know more about your family just ask preferably with a nice brew in hand.
Not only did my dad go and visit the village he got a bottle of water from the well in the town and also wrote in the church book and no doubt prayed a little. This bottle of water has been in my fridge (correction has now been demoted to cupboard due to lack of fridge space) since 2017! Now when he first brought it, I did take a sip and would wash my hands and face with it before important scans. He has since been back in 2022 and brought more and safely labelled it ‘DO NOT DRINK’. I think this is sound advice for fear of;
The tap in the village where you can get water from
Drinking it and potentially having some parasite grow inside me (although this could have potential weight loss which might not necessarily be a bad thing – I am joking obviously)
Pouring on my face and potentially causing damage to my eyes and going blind (I think I watched a holiday programme once and this poor guy had washed his face and ended up with a massive parasite growing in his eyeball and having to have it removed)
I do however pour and wash my hands with it before all scans, appointments, operations. It’s a bit like a ritual I suppose along with certain things I may take with me to calm me down. I think I have mentioned this before in my previous blogs where if standing on one leg and hopping whilst sniffing a badger’s arse calms you down then do it who am I or anyone else to judge.
So, if anyone from UU is reading this, please could you advise me if this is safe to do so. If it is safe, I might start bottling this water up a bit like Del Boy with Peckham Springs maybe I’ll call it Llangernyw Longevity Springs ‘The tears of the yew tree’ I think that has a good ring to it, don’t you think?
Visiting Llangernyw
I can’t remember when but we did go and visit the village and it was really lovely. I definitely recommend a trip to the toilet while you’re there this has got to be one of the nicest well-kept loos, I have ever had the pleasure of visiting, in fact don’t visit the loo’s they need to remain well-kept. It’s only that way because the people of the village take pride in it. There’s really not much there just one pub, one school and a shop. At the time we visited there was a hen party going on they were probably catching the bus going to live it large in Conwy.
The church which stands next to the yew tree is also nice I looked in the visiting book and saw what my dad had wrote some years prior. I’m not sure if it works but I will certainly keep using the water and having a bit of faith along with good old determination to get me through this once again.
Finding your Ikigai
I recently read a really good book Ikigai by Hector Garcia and Francesc Miralles. Ikigai is Japanese and means to live a long and purposeful life. Something which I think we would all love to do much like our beloved Queen Elizabeth 2nd.
In this book they looked at villages which had the largest population of supercentenarians (those who live beyond 100 years old). There is a village in Okinawa, Japan which holds the largest population of these supercentenarians or you could say superheroes. It’s somewhere given half the chance I would love to visit being I’ve always had an affinity for cherry blossoms, bonsai trees, buddhas’, martial arts, Japanese gardens, generally the food and culture and what I envisage as peace and tranquillity. Whether I will ever have that opportunity remains to be seen. So, for now I’ll settle on the cherry blossom planted in my front garden, the buddha statue I have at the back of the garden, martial arts movies, meditating and Wagamama’s as a close second.
One of the village people (not the band) Walter Breuning at the tender age of 114!!! Was quoted as saying;
‘If you keep your mind and body busy, you’ll live a long time’. Food for thought for us, I think.
From doing these interviews the writers Hector Garcia and Francesc Miralles created ten rules of Ikigai ;
Stay active don’t retire – this means work but not necessarily your profession. It could be attending your garden, helping the community
Take it slow – by that I think they mean enjoy the moment less rushing about
Don’t fill your stomach – 80/20 rule
Surround yourself with good friends – laughter is the best medicine, socialise and surround yourself with people who lift you up
Get in shape for your next birthday – something to work towards maybe?
Smile – I always smile and say hello (not necessarily when down South though as on the tube this could appear to be over friendly)
Reconnect with nature – go hug a tree maybe, preferably when no-one is watching
Give thanks – gratitude I try to write at the end of an evening or more realistically in the middle of the night the things that were good about the day.
Live in the moment
Follow you ikigai – your passion and purpose
For me I try to do each of these every day or work towards each one, not every day I tick each one but that’s ok. I am also trying to define my purpose and passion in life which I feel more than ever is
To live and beat this sh1tty disease and remain cancer free forever.
To be the best wife, mother to my kids and daughter I can possibly be.
To helping others through my writing and generally trying to be a goodish person (I’ll aim for 80/20 rule maybe 50/50 for a start).
I hope you all find your purpose and passions in life something that you can feel deep down in your stomach then you’ll know you’re on the right path.
Lessons Learned
Don’t drink bottled water that’s 5 years old and has been sitting in the back of your cupboard
Don’t wait to tell someone how much you care about them
Find your passion and purpose in life
If you really want to understand who you are and where you came from speak to family not only will it give you and understanding of who they are but might bring you closer together
‘Though she be but little she is fierce’ William Shakespeare
One day many, many years (too many to mention in fact) like a million other children that day a tiny little baby was born 4 weeks early (first time for everything) weighing just 4lb 5oz. She had tiny little hands, a tiny little body and a little bottom as round as a peach and although we couldn’t tell from that moment, she had one of the most determined minds you will ever meet.
It was on that same very day that three other friends also found a themselves together a connection of three unlikely friends whom we’ll call the ‘Three Amigos’ their names were Brain, Body and Bottom. They don’t really know how they got together they just always knew they had been connected in some-way to this tiny little human.
As Brain, Bottom and Body grew they became the best of friends. They were inseparable, where one would go the other two would follow (usually Bottom being dragged along last). Brain was the serious one she often learnt things first while Body was the tough one and learnt things the hard way, often by trial and error. Bottom sometimes lacked a bit of motivation butt was always there when Brain and Body needed picking up. As they got older, they learnt so many different things about each other. Like how Brain could count to ten, and pat her head and rub her tummy at the same time (with a little bit of help the help from Body of course). Body liked most sports despite being vertically challenged. She had the ability to run and also swim lengths upon lengths as far as her little legs would take her. Bottom on the other hand well she could play an amazing tune on her bottom trumpet which made Body shake uncontrollably and Brain go slightly red with embarrassment. She also had this great ability to get rid of any poop weighing her down making them all slightly lighter and happier in the process.
The Wonder Years
As the three grew older they noticed bumps and lumps they hadn’t been aware of before. Body was more aware of this then any of the others and would often hide from embarrassment. She noticed she didn’t have long legs like the other bodies not to mention her wobbly bits and uncontrollable scraggy curly hair. She couldn’t help feel like she didn’t belong.
But then Brain pointed out her amazing strength she had despite being pretty small. She also reminded her of how she was good at most sports she turned her hand to. To which she replied but that’s because you’re always pushing me through and supporting me when I need it. Bottom also reminded her that there where lots of different bodies all different shapes and sizes. Some had bits missing or not working but found ways to work around this Bottom admired these other bodies the most. It just felt like that whatever the situation there was always rational behind it and the three friends would always be happy as long as they were together.
Then the teenager years hit them (and their parents) pretty hard. Suddenly the three who had always got along would often be found fighting. There was a lot of shouting, screaming and banging of doors during those years (it was something to do with hormones Brain said). Then they all discovered this thing the called giggle juice. This was a complete game changer Body would be often seen wandering quite unaware, banging into things. Bottom would be either on her arse on the dance floor or found either in the toilets not knowing what end the aftermath of this giggle juice would come out of. Brain however thought she knew best. Being head strong she would either be in the toilets arguing with herself in the mirror or doing things she would more than likely regret doing or saying in the day after.
The Serious Years
Then one day it was like a train had suddenly hit all three of them. There they were with these things they called jobs. Brain much to everyone’s amazement ended up buying a house all by her self she had knuckled down at school to study maybe with a few giggle induced nights and parties in between. She had met another body and was very happy together. They managed to have not 1 but 2 perfect children (this story is a story that’s for another time as it involves the birds and bees and maybe a stork). Brain knew that this in itself was a privilege but would be the most challenging and rewarding one of all time. They also knew they could ‘cope’ if they worked together. Body just wasn’t looking forward to yet more changes and wobbly bits and Bottom just still couldn’t get over the fact that those two popped out of their other bottom!!
THE TWO MOST CHALLENGING BUT REWARDING GIFTS EVER
The Alien Invader
Life seemed pretty good despite the lack of sleep and having to do this thing they called a job in order to get things you want or need. This was much to Bottoms’ amazement as she couldn’t understand why people had to have the need for so much ‘stuff’ that when she thought really long and hard, they didn’t really need it as the best things in life were normally free.
By one chance encounter Body was having something checked out at the Doctors this was just a routine thing but then because something else was there she asked the Dr about that as well. To cut a long story short it turned out there was a lump in the neck that shouldn’t have been there and needed to be removed to find out more. Body was obviously worried and quite scared, Bottom just wanted to get the crappy thing out but Brain knew somehow that it would all be ok. This lump did turn out to be something it was cancer (skin cancer), (Stage 4 Metastatic Melanoma to be exact). All caused by too much exposure to sun of all things.
It wasn’t easy but the three amigos did what they do best, they stuck together. They came to realise that they all had a role to play if they were going to destroy this alien invader. It was the hardest thing they had ever done but the battle was won. It took some time but slowly Brain started to see the good things in the future and appreciate all that she had. Bottom had stopped lazing about and started to move again. Body started to love her body again although it wasn’t quite the same as before she appreciated all that it had done for her and how she had shown strength to repair. Bottom also reminded her of the inner beauty that shone through her. It felt like life was finally going to be ‘normal’ if there is ever such a thing as normal.
The Alien Resurrection
Then one day not too long ago something inside didn’t quite feel right. Bottom had a bad feeling about this as it felt sort of familiar, Brain as always tried to rationalise the unknown. It turned out that the aliens had reappeared but this time it wasn’t in Body this time the aliens had appeared in Brain. This was a totally different ball game but there was a plan. They had to get the first big alien out first and then once Body had repaired, they then had to zap the other smaller aliens with a magic beam. It was a pretty tall task not just for the Brain, Body and Bottom but for the whole crew, it was all systems go. Body just wasn’t sure if she could go through it all again knowing how much it hurt the last time.
As they continued it started to affect the others but not in a way they had known before. Body started to become weaker and couldn’t walk very far. Brain couldn’t remember things and would sometimes struggle to talk or be able to listen and write. Bottom often panicked so much that she literally looked like she was going to explode. The battle had begun it was a tough one the crew did an amazing job of getting rid of the big alien and are still working tirelessly on the smaller ones.
Butt this isn’t the end
This isn’t how the story ends though. One day the three friends were sat together on the top of a hill looking out on the beautiful horizon. Brain whom had been struggling the most since this alien attack thought for a moment. She still knew somehow that everything would be ok as long as they were together and had determination, faith and hope. It was then that Bottom said one of the most profound things that had come out of her bottom in all the time they had been friends. It went something like this;
Bottom: ‘I think were quite lucky you know’
Body: ‘In what way do you mean?
Bottom: ‘Well when Brain had her operation who helped her heal her scar on her head?
Body: ‘Me I suppose in a way’
Bottom: ‘And when you couldn’t walk who helped teach you to put one foot in front of the other?
Body: ‘Brain’
Brain: ‘But we couldn’t have done that without you lifting us up Bottom’
Bottom: ‘That’s exactly right we all have a part to play to keep going and never give up. We’re lucky we have each other (she then turned and looked at the bag on Body’s back) Body what do you carry round in that bag of yours all day?
Body: ‘I don’t really know to be honest but it’s been weighing me down for some time now’
Bottom: ‘And Brain why do you have those chips on your shoulders?’
Brain: ‘I don’t know they’ve always been here I think sometimes I think it stops me from really listening and learning’
Bottom: ‘Right on the count of three I want you both to get rid of them’
Body and Brain released them both and watched as they rolled down the hill.
Brain: ‘Now how does that feel?’
Brain/Body: ‘Lighter’
Bottom: ‘Exactly! We don’t need to carry things around that weigh us down. Let’s not dwell on what has been or look too far ahead. Let’s just enjoy this moment. I know deep down as long as we’re together everything will be just fine I can just feel it. We can always get by with kindness, love and hope.
Brain: ‘Not forgetting our little friend who’s always been here.’
Body: ‘Ah yes Determination’
For Daisy and Archie whatever you do in your life do it with kindness, love, determination and hope.
