‘If your actions create a legacy that inspires others to dream more, learn more, do more and become more, then you are an excellent leader.’ – Dolly Parton
Inspire others
Day 9 of the squat challenge and today I’m feeling really tired. I think a combination of a late night, the mental draining from writing each day and just generally feeling physically sore is kicking in today. I can tell I’m tired because unfortunately I don’t have the patience for the kids when I’m like this. Normally around this time I’m due to take some medication and I can’t deal with constant questions of ‘why’. It’s a bit like being really hangry and tired at the same time but not always feeling hungry. One of my kids in particular is very inquisitive shall I say and this can be a real struggle on days like this. Don’t worry after my tea (not dinner we’re northern) I’ll make sure I sit down and have a chat, that’s if I’m allowed in their room! (the joys of teenagers). Usually the questions (battle) are life threatening events such as going out somewhere, wi-fi, phones or what’s for tea. I think that pretty much sums up everything.
I did go to a personal trainer this morning. I thought bout cancelling but I didn’t and despite me feeling tired I just got something done. Sometimes we feel like that and sometimes just doing a bit is better than nothing. I’ve been going for a couple of weeks now (just once a week) because although I am quite dedicated when it comes to exercising, I definitely need tips on exercises and technique and some times a little push when I otherwise wouldn’t. The rest of the afternoon I’ve literally slept and looking outside now it’s pitch black. The dark nights have set in now which I know makes it a lot harder for those of you who are planning on exercising tonight rather than get in your comfy pyjamas and sit in front of the fire. It’s like our bodies want to go into hibernation mode, sometimes we have to fight that off and do it. So, if you do, do that I promise I’ll get the rest of my squats done and take the dog for a walk in the dark, cold and rain how’s that for a deal?
The reason why I put the above quote up today was that as I was getting out of my mum’s car after the gym, she told me that she too has started doing 50 push ups off the kitchen top (not stood on the kitchen top I hope). She said she breaks it up into manageable 25 sets and is working towards doing 100. How amazing is that! I think inspiring others to do more and learn more is a precious gift and does feel warm and fuzzy inside. There are so many people that inspire me in a variety of aspects of my life, battling cancer, facing challenges, being a better person. No-one knows everything we can all learn a do more if we are open to listen to others. We might not always agree with their opinions but you never know you might just learn something new.
I often ponder on why and our purpose in life and I think ultimately to inspire others what an achievement that would be. Listening to Steve Back shall last night he was very passionate about inspiring the net generation to ultimately save the oceans, rare species and the planet. I think looking around the room there will definitely be a young generation that care about our planet and hopefully take action inspired by him and many others Sir David Attenborough being one.
So, whatever your passion is in life as long as its for the greater good please continue to inspire others.
You’re never too old to learn something new. I learnt this last night when I didn’t have a clue what half the oceans habitat are called.
‘None of us, including me ever do great things. But we can all do small things, with great love, and together we can do something wonderful’ – Mother Teresa
The Three Amigos decide to Stand Up to Cancer
Now if you have previously read some of my blogs you may have come across a couple of tales about the three amigos, Brain, Body and Bottom. These three friends are connected to a slightly vertically challenged (now middle-aged woman). For the purpose of these stories, we will call her Miss Determination (even though now she’s a Mrs and maybe not so much determined but more stubborn (as her husband likes to remind her most days!)
Anyway, the three amigo’s Brain, Bottom and Body had watched Stand Up to Cancer last Friday evening and as much as they enjoyed the programme it really upset them. All of all the stories of people affected by cancer. In particular one young girl who was just 11 and sadly died of cancer after also losing her mum to cancer.
As the three friends sat there together tissues in hand wiping away the tears Bottom said ‘It’s so sad, we need to do something to help these people’.
Body who was shaking from the crying said ‘I agree we need to fight back’.
Brain said ‘I have an idea I have seen these 100 squats a day challenge, why don’t we give it a go and raise some money for research?’
To which Bottom replied ‘Squit challenge won’t that be messy?’
No said Brain ‘SQUATS’. ‘You know where you bend your knees and then lift up. It’s supposed to be really good to get a firm bottom, Bottom.’
‘I’m not sure I can do the squats you know Brain I’ve got a sore leg from playing football,’ said Body.
‘Don’t worry ‘said Brain ‘we can think of something similar to do. What about sit ups maybe?’
‘Yes, I can do them no problem!’ said Body.
‘Great!’ said Brain. ‘To be honest I think I will struggle counting. It’s not my strong point at the moment my head get all fuzzy and I lose concentration.’
‘Don’t worry,’ said Body. ‘I have a clicker counter from my old days on the doors we can use that’.
Bottom was looking rather sheepish then said ‘you know what I’m really nervous if I squat too much what if I trump and have an accident? I haven’t got a spare pair of undies since I blew a hole in my other ones.’
‘Don’t you worry,’ said Body. ‘I have got a new pair of special Lycra ones you can borrow not only do the tuck your tummy in the well keep you trumps in too’.
Bottom looked down at his tummy then looked at the other two and they all laughed.
‘Right then’ said Brain ‘we need to set a schedule and pick a time we can do it together. I’ve developed a timetable and marked each day for the whole month on the calendar’. To which the other two smiled and rolled their eyes back. Secretly they know if they ever needed a robust plan to stick too Brain was the girl for the job.
So, every day for the whole of the month the three friends would get together as planned and do their squats and sit ups. Brain would get the counter and click every time they did a rep. Bottom would laugh every time, she made a noise but was thankful for the stretchy pants. Body was also glad that she could join in despite being injured.
Some days the three friends would have to break up the squats into smaller sections just because they were short on time. The main thing is they got them done. 100 squats/sit ups a day for 30 days.
Bottom could definitely feel her cheeks getting firmer. Body could feel her stomach getter tighter and Brain could manage to count each rep more than she thought she could have.
The End of the Challenge
It was day 30, the last day of the challenge. The three friends had religiously stuck to the challenge. At times they thought about stopping especially as it hurt so much but then they each thought of the little girl in the programme and carried on through gritted teeth and clenched cheeks!
‘That’s it’ said Brain ‘we’re done, how fantastic it that’. Body looked up and smirked which suggested she didn’t agree.
‘What’s the matter Body?’ asked Brain.
‘I feel like I’ve not fully done the challenge,’ said Body.
‘Don’t be stupid’ said Brain, ‘you adapted it because there was something you couldn’t do. You stuck to the challenge showing other people they too can adapt to suit their physical needs’.
‘I guess you’re right’ said Body sticking her chest in a proud sort of way.
Brain looked at their donation page. She turned to the others slightly disappointed and said ‘unfortunately we haven’t met our donation target’
Bottom looked at the two friends and said ‘that doesn’t matter at all. Remember that little girl, we did it for her and for people like her. Together we stood up for cancer to inspire others to do the same and give people hope, that’s what matters.’
‘You’re always so right,’ said Brain.
Then the three amigos gave each other a big hug. They all felt really proud of themselves and deservedly so.
‘Right then who’s getting in the bath first?’ asked Body clutching her stomach.
Day 8 100 squats done!
Sorry it’s a bit late for today but I got it done in the end, keep going everyone and thank you for reading
You will not be punished for your anger; you will be punished by your anger – Buddha
Sometimes it can truly hard to not get angry by the situations or things that have happened to us. So many people if you sat down and listened to them have had their fair sure of misfortunes that could have forced them to act out in anger. Often you hear of athletes of business people that were fuelled by anger. However, I’m pretty sure that the same flame burning inside that caused them to take action at some point will become more of a burden and probably cause a feeling similar to indigestion. How often have you been angry with someone to the extent that it affects you more than them. This is what Buddha is saying in the above quote. Quite often the ones we are angry with are blissfully unaware if the pain we are suffering. It’s so much harder to frown than it is to smile. It takes effort to stay angry with people. I often hold onto grudges for far too long (it’s one of my many weaknesses I am slowly learning to work on). I think it’s because I am so sensitive that when I give, I give my all and when I get let down it truly hurts and that’s where the anger starts to build up. Better still if we can’t forget what someone has done to us try to learn to forgive if only for our own sakes.
FU*K CANCER
The thing is I could easily get angry about all the things that have happened as a result of cancer not once but twice. But who will ultimately benefit from that, it will be cancer causing more stress, worry and most likely make me ill. As hard as it can be to accept sometimes, I am who I am (trust me there are times when I really hate not me but the situation I am in, this usually coincides with the monthly blues). However thankfully that surpasses as I know I have so much to give and how lucky I am. I have what some people dream about having; an annoying husband, two annoying teenagers a roof over my head, supportive equally annoying family and weird quite often drunk friends. Some people don’t have that at all. How lucky am I. (I love them all really)
Cancer can take away my physical strength (I’m working on that as well so watch out), my speech, my ability to work as I used to. It can even make it really difficult to feel ‘normal’ in every day social situations struggling to enjoy music, shopping, like everyone else. However, there are things in my control to which I won’t give cancer the benefit of taking away from me. Cancer can’t take away my will power and resilience (stubbornness Ste would say)
I will use my situation (and the sh!t that is cancer) to create positivity in the best way I can. To make friendships with the most unlikely of people and in the most unlikely of places. I will use it to spread hope to others, laughter at my misfortunes. Knowledge of my misfortunes to help others get earlier diagnosis and better chance of survival. Now isn’t that a far better act of revenge.
So unless you want to constantly have the Rennies on standby for the anger inside you I suggest you do what Elsa does and just ‘Let it go’
At times I feel certain I am right while not knowing the reason’ – Albert Einstein
If the absolute worst that could happen to you is that your are wrong for following your gut and body that something isn’t quite right despite what others are telling you. Then surely that’s a risk worth taking? – Rachel Cummings
The start of the subtle changes
It was August 2021 we had just been on holiday to Wales for a week which proved to be rather more stressful than holidays should be possibly be. I won’t go into too much detail but when I look back on all the events that had happened in the months prior, I wonder if they may have triggered stress and subsequently my brain tumours. This is something I will never likely know but something I don’t ever intend on finding out. But it is why I feel so strongly that living a stress-free life is key to health (both mental and physical).This month proved to be probably one of the most traumatic months in my life to date. Despite my blogs I have never gone into specific detail about all the events that happened up to and during my 2nd diagnosis of cancer. For me I avoided it because I wanted to focus all my energy on my health and delving too much into this part of my life brings with it negative energy, anger and upset about all that I have been through and what could have happened if I hadn’t trusted my gut.
It’s only now just over two years later I feel comfortable about sharing these thoughts, the events, the subtle signs in the hope that if someone is reading this, they might find similarities within themselves or a friend/family member that could possibly lead to an early diagnosis (not that I wish for anyone to go through some of the things I have experienced). It’s sort of facing my demons too. Even typing this a wave of emotions are coming over me which is probably a good sign to let it out. Either that or it’s that special time and Ste will be in for a treat of mood swings, suggestions of divorce, death threats and crying. But that’s atotally different blog maybe (perrimenopausalandme!).
A gut feeling
After the holiday I started back at work again (working from home) and the first sign to all this (in my opinion to the appearance of the brain tumours) was that I couldn’t remember my log in details to my works computer. Now if you’re like me any more than 1 weeks break for work and you struggle to remember what you actually do for a living never mind your password. Now I had tried to be compliant for once and changed my password on the recommendation of IS security training. Problem was I couldn’t remember the new one! Ultimately having several attempts and locking myself out.
I managed to phone the IT department at work who unfortunately couldn’t unlock it remotely which meant I had to get the train to Manchester to get it reset. Whilst in the office thankfully I decided to tidy my locker as I had hardly step foot in there since COVID and it was my birthday the day prior to the offices being shut so I had some presents and food which no doubt the resident mice would have loved if I hadn’t removed them.
It was so strange walking along the office floor where once so many people had worked together. I remember thinking I miss that (I still do). Despite the long commute and opportunity for work/life balance I have to say there is a lot to be said for PROPER human connection and talking to people face to face to resolve things. Plus, you can waste at least a good half hour in the kitchen talking about random stuff to the poor bloke that wanted to grab a quick coffee, which I was very good at.
Anyway, I went back downstairs and was chatting to someone in IT while they sorted out my laptop and this time, I changed it to something I could remember…. (PASSWORD!).
This was the same day I was expecting a phone call from Professor Board about my latest CT scan. Typically, I got the phone call whilst on a packed train so couldn’t really hear properly and didn’t really want to start asking random things. She said the CT scan results were great asked if I was feeling ok, I just said I was tired and she said she would make another appointment for 6 months’ time. Little did I know that approximately one-week later things would dramatically change for the worse.
The subtle signs
I was very busy at work and if totally honest had too much on. I was definitely spread too thinly over too many different things multitasking from one thing to the next which didn’t help. It was month end reporting which is always a busy time especially when everyone is on annual leave. I remember messaging a colleague saying I had really bad headaches and I was struggling she suggested it might be the menopause. I couldn’t concentrate at all I had brain fog. I remember I had to put a certain meditation music on just to write my reports. On one particular occasion I was on a team call with a couple of senior members and when asked a simple question I just got really upset because I couldn’t recall simple events just a couple of weeks ago. I later wrote an email to apologise and explain as it was out if character.
I wasn’t sleeping at all. I would be up at 2/3am in the morning tired but not being able to sleep. I was starting to struggle with my movement and it was like I had lost my spatial awareness in that I was bumping into things at home that had been there for ages i.e., kitchen units, worktops, doors. I remember one night falling out of bed because I couldn’t work out where I was. Ste as empathetic as ever woke up and said what the f*ck are you doing as my head was on the floor and legs akimbo next to the bed. I think he thought I was just messing about.
As days passed my speech then started to get worse it was like I wasn’t in control anymore. So, I phoned the doctors and had a telephone conversation, told him my symptoms and he agreed to a face-to-face appointment with me a couple of days later.
On the face-to-face appointment Ste came with me initially but it went on for that long that my mum ended up having to take over sitting with me as Ste had to go back to work and I was unable to drive. A few days prior I had nearly crashed my car into the kebab shop as my foot just wouldn’t move off the accelerator when my brain told it to. This really scared and upset me as I knew I wasn’t in control. Thankfully I had the sense (for once in my life) to tell Ste and didn’t drive the car after that. In fact, I haven’t drove a car for two years now which I really miss. I lost some independence, but one day hopefully I can drive again but small steps (literally).
At the appointment the doctor got me to do a simple memory test and to be honest I got them all right. It wasn’t short term memory, I was struggling with it was stuff that happened a few weeks ago. I was also tested for walking in a straight line, blood tests were taken which only showed elevated B12 levels. B12 is what usually vegans lack due to lack of meat however mine were showing really high which was ironic as I was vegan at this time. A number of other checks were carried out in my ear and an abdominal examination were all done. An ECG was also requested which came back fine.
Ste managed to come back and my mum went home. The doctor came to the conclusion that I was depressed. Offered me talking therapy for which there was a wait he said. At this point I declined. Deep down in my gut I knew this wasn’t depression. This is not in any way undermining any symptoms or diagnosis of depression. I know that this can be such a terrible illness but I felt my symptoms weren’t that of someone depressed. So, I went away awaiting a further abdominal scan and collected my sleeping tablets that had been prescribed feeling as though my issues weren’t fully addressed. As the days passed my symptoms got worse and worse. I lost full mobility in my right arm. Both me and Ste thought I maybe I had a stroke.
Thankfully Ste works for a private medical company and as a family member could arrange an online consultation with a GP for me. When I told the Dr my symptoms and previous diagnosis of Melanoma, she immediately said I should arrange for an urgent MRI and to see a Neurologist. She said she would request one via the private medical company however would write a note for me to send to my existing oncologist team to see if they could arrange an MRI sooner. We did and thanks to the my oncologists/skin care team a few days later I had my MRI.
The results weren’t good nor was the location I received them in. I was in B&Q with my mum for a change of scenery looking for tiles for the BBQ area I wanted to finish (when things like this happen it’s I have a desire to complete all the unfinished jobs around the house similarly as to when I waspregnant, it’s a bit like nesting). My mum had gone looking at plants which she often does and can disappear for hours if you let her. I was mid conversation with the Neurologist whom was telling me the results of the scan and that I had three brain tumours. I saw my mum looking for me and didn’t want her to hear the conversation so kept walking down various aisles to get away from her. In my own way I just wanted to deal with it myself and protect her. I finished the call. When she asked I just made something up and said it was a follow up about an appointment.
A few days later we had a another telephone appointment with a different Neurologist. This time Ste was present, the news wasn’t good he basically said that they might not be able to do anything at all for me. I was heartbroken so was Ste I remember we both laid on the bed crying. Ste was going to cancel football training (he was helping coaching). But I said not too as it was only him doing it that night so we both went. I took the dog for a little stroll whilst he coached. I remember watching Archie trying to savour every bit of him in thinking surely this can’t be it for me. I have so much to live for and besides I haven’t even finished tiling the BBQ area we made.
Lessons Learned
Trust your instincts. If others don’t be persistent.
Look for the warning signs, in my case these were;
Headaches
Loss of movement
Memory loss/Brain fog
Changes in speech
Mobility issues – (one of my tumours was left hand side so I lost mobility in my right hand side)
Lack of sleep
If you’re taking on too much, stop. Prioritise what is important and what is achievable, somethings will have to suffer as result otherwise issues never get resolved you become the one letting people down.
Don’t abuse the NHS it is amazing and I we are so lucky to have it. The treatments I have received have been life saving. However, don’t be afraid of seeking alternative opinions if your gut tells you too.
Don’t dwell on negative energy. Writing this has brought some negative emotions to the forefront but hopefully for some benefit of the greater good. It might take me a couple of weeks to get back into my Happy Space after this but hopefully I can let a few more things go and put them behind me.
For more advice on symptoms for Brain Tumours please see the following links:
This last weekend marked my 1-year anniversary since I had my operation to remove the tumour in my brain. I didn’t even realise this until the weekend had passed because it was Archie’s birthday and we’ve all been pretty rough for one reason or another but less of the tales of woes more into the tale of, well woe!
In order to remove the tumour, I was to have a craniotomy which in a nut shell (ironic I used that term). This involves cutting your head open to carefully get the tumour out. I know I’ve just done a miscarriage of justice there as they don’t just let any random Joe loose with a scalpel (well at least I hope not). Leading up to the operation I had to isolate which to be honest felt pretty crap as it was Archie’s birthday (ironically these also happen each year along with anniversaries) and I couldn’t do anything with him to celebrate. But I’m sure he didn’t even notice when my dad and Ste took him to some Ninja place with a few friends.
I tried not to think too much about the operation, I didn’t even read the patient pre-op information I was given until the day before. For me wasting time worrying on something that is inevitable was wasted energy. I needed to just focus on being calm and prepared. I tried to find a quote that best described this feeling and came across this poem by Edgar A Guest written in 1917 which I think sums up how I thought of the operation (minus the ‘man’ reference). See although I knew this wasn’t going to be the most pleasant of experiences it was one, I had to endure in the hope of getting the bugger out and one more step in the direction of surviving this shitty disease once more. It was something I had to ‘See it Through’ for that higher purpose it was my second chance at life. To have not gone through with the operation well I’m not sure I would be here typing away.
I remember a couple of weeks prior to the operation the neuro surgeon (whom was absolutely fantastic) telling me what was going to happen and did I have any questions to which I think I replied ‘I just want it out’. What I was most impressed with is she actually talked to me, not Ste who was also in the room. She looked at me when she was telling me what would happen so I fully understood. Not all doctors and nurses do this especially when you have difficulty with speech. This gave me confidence especially when she said she would be doing the actual operation. All the consent forms where there ready for me sign as time was no doubt of the essence. I was literally booked in a couple of weeks later for the craniotomy.
Operation Day
The day of the operation Ste drove me to the hospital. I don’t remember feeling nervous but I remember wanting to say a proper goodbye to the kids that morning just in case (well I don’t think I need to say why). I remember also wanting to say a proper goodbye to Ste (whom can be very deadpan at times) and didn’t even give it a thought after carrying my bag was itching to go. One of the nurses tried to carry the bag (to which I think they were probably thinking how much shit has she got in here). See what they didn’t know is I’d had done a spell in hospital that turned out a lot longer than planned so I put in all my worldly possessions in the bag plus a few big knickers just in case. However, my most valued ones were a letter and a poem from Ste, Daisy and Archie. A photo of Ste and the kids in a frame and some good luck charms (the rabbit’s foot I thought I best leave at home for fear of spreading myxomatosis!). The letter I got out a few times in hospital which I can say honestly spurred me on to keep going and I will treasure forever.
Ste wasn’t allowed any further due to COVID restrictions so I got a hug and said goodbye. I was due to be first up which if you ever have an operation is great as it’s less time without food. I often wonder if it is best to be operated on Tuesday to Thursday as Monday they could be rough from the weekend and Friday, they could be itching to get home or have a pint in the local. I say this in jest as I’m pretty sure all surgeons are extremely professional and hardworking and unfortunately for them saving peoples lives comes with a price tag of responsibility and a sacrifice to the things, we take for granted. You can’t well just down tools (or scalpels) come 5 o’clock. I ended up being second on the list as some elderly lady went before me. I think she was quite nervous I tried to smile at her which probably in hindsight made her even more nervous of the crazy grinning lady, with wild hair sat across from her.
I don’t really remember much after that. All I know is I got wheeled down in the bed to the operating theatre. There was some issue trying to get a canular in my hand which ended up in multiple tries the next thing I knew I was in a recovery ward with a nurse and the Neuro surgeon asking if I was ok. I remember just feeling really cold and shivering. Apparently, I had demanded that she phoned Ste and let him know how the operation went to which amazingly she did. I honestly don’t remember saying this.
I was later wheeled to a ward in my bed which was to be my home for the next few days. I was first in the bay and the nurse asked where did I want to go. I definitely chose a window bay. Even if the view is pretty rubbish, it’s something to look at. I’m glad to say I still had the top of my head in tack and was not wearing a bobble hat! I think I must have drifted in and out of sleep I woke up having the weird sensation needed the toilet but then realised I had a catheter fitted which isn’t the most pleasant of feelings if you’ve ever had one. So as soon as the opportunity arose, I got this removed but this had the downside you had to take yourself to the toilet or pee in a paper cowboy hat which having brain surgery isn’t as easy as you might think.
Blue Stockings gang
Later on that day another lady arrived and was put across from me then two other ladies. Little did I know that these ladies would be there to support me as I was for them in the next following days. These ladies were part of our Blue Stocking gang. See I’m pretty sure it was our friend *Catherine whom came up with the name (being she was the more intellectual and worldly of us all). See Blue Stockings was a term used for literary intellectual women in the 18th century whom held ‘conversations’ with men of aristocracy with literately interests (yes, I have just ‘googled’ that). It also happens to be the colour of the ‘sexy’ stockings you are given in hospital to stop you getting deep vein thrombosis while led in bed. Either way I think it’s a pretty good name.
See at the time we were all in hospital COVID restrictions were in place so we weren’t allowed visitors at all. All of us had different ‘ailments’ should I say, it wasn’t a cancer ward. I had just had a brain tumour removed (which later was confirmed was Melanoma), one had fallen off a horse and damaged her shoulder quite badly, one had a slipped disc and the other had auto immune disorders. For a couple of days, I hardly knew what Tracey looked like as I couldn’t turn my head nor could she!!
Some of the Blue Stockings gang
I think because we didn’t have visitors was mainly why we bonded so much and these ladies did so much for me and I’m pleased to say we still remain friends and keep in contact regularly now. I remember on a couple of occasions Shantell helping me. One occasion I can remember her calling the nurses as my head was bleeding (I didn’t even realise to be honest) the other occasions unfortunately I had, had focal seizures so she ‘buzzed’ for a nurse to come and help to which I was extremely grateful as I had never had a seizure before. One time I had been trying to write in my journal so had a pen in my had then I think someone had mentioned about the blinds so I got up to attempt to sort them out and had a focal seizure whilst stood up, which as a result ending up me spinning round still holding the pen in my hand. I could only imagine it looked like a really shit game of Air Pictionary to Shantell who was led in the bed across.
We had some good conversations about our families and nearest and dearest and despite being in there together for such a short space of time I was sad to see them go. *Catherine went first and seemed happy to go as she was missing her daughter. Tracey was next so that left me and Shantell together.
I had got upset as I was told I had to stay in due to the seizures. To be honest I had to admit that the seizures did make me feel quite vulnerable as it was something I had never experienced before and yet ‘another’ thing to add to the list. Shantell knew that I was upset and decided to cheer me up with a ‘girls’ film night. This basically meant her getting an I pad and sitting next to my bed whilst we both watched a film. I can’t even remember the film name I just remember thinking it was such a nice thing to do and definitely cheered me up.
Signs from above
My matted hairA sign from an angel watching over me maybe??
Whilst in hospital my hair had was extremely knotted and matted due to the staples and the blood and I couldn’t have a shower to wash it so I messaged my friend Donna to see if she could give my dad some detangling spray to try and get the knots out. I also messaged my dad to bring in some supplies (not drugs I already had plenty of these) but Coke zero for Shantell, Nakd bars for me and the detangling spray. He wasn’t allowed to come in but when he dropped the supplies off I looked at the detangling bottle and this is what was on it. I asked my friend Donna if she had put it there and she knew nothing of it. All I can think is that maybe someone was watching over me after all.
Lessons Learned
Sometimes friendships can be made in the strangest of places.
Always have faith that someone is watching over you even if they’re no longer here
Don’t play Air Pictonary if you’re prone to seizures just in case as no-one will be able to guess it
Some of the most invaluable things are the most valuable in certain situations
