‘Some people think that to be strong is to never feel pain. In reality, the strongest people are the ones who feel it, understand it, and accept it.’ – Unknown
‘Pain is inevitable, suffering is optional’ – Buddhist Proverb
Today it’s day 22 of the 100 squat a day challenge for November. This morning on the way to the hospital for an appointment we got a phone call to say that my appointment was cancelled. That miffed me off. I think I get more frustrated as I am aware that people often have to go out of their way to get me to these appointments especially my parents and Ste. My mum was taking me on this occasion so I felt bad for her. She had gone out of her way to take me and probably will do for my next rearranged appointment. The joys of not being able to drive do add a complexity and element of stress into our lives so I need to stay on my best behaviour and hope that I will get my licence back some time in the not-too-distant future.
Where there is pain can there be pleasure?
I’ve got really bad back ache today so I’m missing out on my walking netball as a result which I’m also miffed off about but know that I should just rest for 1 day (well maybe). Unfortunately, when I’m in pain I think I take it out on others especially those closest to me. I don’t mean to but I have very little patience. I have been told I have quite a high pain threshold on a couple of occasions but that doesn’t mean I don’t feel pain. I think I show it in other ways like staying silent or just show it in my face. Someone once told me before I was due to have my first child that pain is only temporary. I think this was one of the best pieces of advice anyone has given me for coping. In moments of agony, I have often used this thought to get me through. I think this can also apply for emotional as well as physical pain.
We can’t always see the pain someone is suffering on the inside. I really feel for those suffering from the pain of depression or mental illness or chronic illnesses, dealing with it on a daily basis must be extremely difficult. I am lucky that I’m pretty much pain free most days. I think I would be even more moody than Ste thinks I am already if I was!!
So, from today where is my pleasure?
I got my 100 squats done early (albeit through gritted teeth and holding my back)
My mum took me to town and I bought some pain killers and some bubble bath so that should help
I got to spend time with my mum and bought her a coffee which was better than going to the hospital.
I messaged my instructor and he has given me some exercises to do which I will do later on
I’ve had chance to write this blog
Oh, and a brucei bonus I’m sat at home with the house to myself so that’s definitely something to be grateful for and smile about!!
Hope you all have a pain free day. If not hopefully tomorrow.
Today it’s day 19 of the 100 squat a day challenge. Squats completed went for a very wet and miserable walk to at least achieve something.
Always the optimist
Since cancer entered my life I have always on the majority of days been a glass half full kind of girl. Even when the odds seemed highly stacked against me on the first diagnosis never mind the second diagnosis. I have always tried to remain hopeful and positive. That is the only thing that keeps me going.
A lot of the time I use the first quotation in my daily affirmations. I must admit since starting these blogs and squats I have neglected my journalling on most days but the affirmations and mantra are very much there in my head. I’m very much of the opinion if I don’t have hope then how can I inspire and give others hope in their lives. Hope for better times ahead, hope for more time, hope for earlier diagnosis, hope for more treatment options and a hope to long and happy life.
I will get a better photo of us Gill for next time x
Quote of the day
“The power of community to create health is far greater than any physician, clinic or hospital.” – Mark Hyman
One of the marvellous things about community is that it enables us to welcome and help people in a way we couldn’t as individuals. When we pool our strength and share the work and responsibility, we can welcome many people, even those in deep distress, and perhaps help them find self-confidence and inner healing.” – Jean Vanier
Joining forces
Today was a much better day I’m pleased to tell you. The storm has passed in the Cummings household it’s just a bit breezy!!
I’ve done my 100 squats, sorted some paperwork, sent some parcels, took Woody for a walk and generally think I’m winning at life so I will hold onto this feeling before it inevitably comes crashing to an abrupt end. The best of my day however was just going to my Battle Cancer class.
I’ve been going to this for a couple of weeks now and really enjoying it. It’s a free programme and runs nationwide. There just so happens to be a cross fit gym near me that runs the programme. Everyone that attends the classes have been affected by cancer in some way or another (either been given the all clear or still under going treatment or living with cancer). We’re all in the same not so elite club none of us really wanted to join but are just making the most of the situation. A bit like when you sign up for a discount card for somewhere you’re probably only going to visit once and then later regret the number of emails appearing in your inbox and the card now taking up space in your purse/wallet but was worth it for the £10 discount you received that time.
Anyway, the battle cancer programme tailors for all abilities. There are always scalable options for people to do the exercises that are suitable to them. We’re all joining forces and coming together sometimes slightly feeling out of our comfort zones but each time learning and hopefully getting better. I love the way we’re becoming a little community spurring each other on and getting to know each other.
As someone with cancer and an invisible disability I really lost a lot of confidence when it came to getting back into fitness. I have always been active so to start back from literally square one it took a lot of courage to step into my local leisure centre to initially go swimming and then the gym. I really had to build up a lot of confidence. Sometimes asking if the music could be turned down when the young instructors were reliving their Ibiza night bangers. Feeling like you have to apologise for your situation and explain how it affects you can be a burden. Until it happened to me, I never gave noise a second thought. Now it’s a daily thing I face and have to think about how I manage my day however my noise sensitivity is getting better and so is my speech. I do still avoid generally busy periods and don’t go to any classes.
I don’t go out the house without my flares (ear plugs not 70’s jeans) and my noise cancelling headphones which I play my 90’s beats which drowns background noises out. These have been a life saver for me.
But walking into Battle Cancer you don’t have to be worried about those situations. You don’t need to explain yourself. The instructor knows everyone’s’ unique situation and that can take a lot of pressure of. All different ages coming together for the same purpose to not let cancer beat or define us. I really like Pete the instructor you can tell how passionate he is about the programme. How it has improved peoples lives already. Him and Suzi make it feel achievable and enjoyable at the same time and I’m truly grateful for the opportunity to do this and for them taking up their spare time.
What makes this even more fantastic is that one of my old (well same age me, so young) friends is doing the course with me. She also has become a member of the cancer club. Whereas years ago, we were playing in the playground together mucking about, now were playing in a bigger playground and the sky is the limit. I’m so happy I get to share this journey with her even if it wasn’t one neither of us wanted to be on, we’ve got this!
For more information on the Battle Cancer Programme please see the following link. If you or someone you know could benefit from the programme, get them to enquire. What’s the worst that could happen?
1.’If you find something very difficult to achieve yourself, don’t imagine it impossible – anything possible and proper for another person can be achieved as easily by you’ – Marcus Aurelius, Meditations, 6.19
We all can do it
Hope you’ve all had a good weekend. I’ve had a pretty good weekend spent catching up with different friends and resting. Today we went to cheer on my close friends Declan and Jenny doing the Lytham 10K. When we got there the weather was terrible. I was hoping for a medal just standing outside in the rain and walking to near the finish line (never mind the 10K!)! It was cold, wet and miserable, something which I know really would have affected Dec.
Dec who is registered blind and uses a cane also has ASD (autism spectrum disorder). To do a 10K is an achievement in itself for most people, but to walk the whole thing unaided is absolutely amazing! Jen managed a P.B and I think even she will agree this was definitely by sheer determination and mind over matter, especially as she started at the back with her son Declan.
These two are absolute testament that anything is possible if you put your mind to it. Jen’s legs looked like two slender tins of corn beef when she had finished the weather had totally battered them. Walking to the pub to seek shelter I felt like I was walking with a tin of spam, I think the mustard wool hat topped it off. The poor girl was shivering and was starting to seize up it had been that cold. Dec was on cloud nine when he finished and rightly so.
We may not always be Olympic athletes and achieve world records but showing others and inspiring them to maybe do things that are outside of their comfort zones now, that is something that you should hold with pride. We can either look at people’s achievements with green eyed jealously and find a million of reasons why we haven’t achieved as much as them or we can look at their achievements as a way of inspiring us in our own lives. Today my friends did that as well as raise a fantastic amount of money for Rosemere Cancer Foundation (somewhere I have benefited from). So, who knows Jen and Dec maybe I might be brave next year and get my corn beef thunder thighs out to do a 10K or do something else out of my comfort zone. In the mean time I hope you both enjoyed your well earned tea and beers.
If anyone would like to sponsor Declan I’m sure he would be more than grateful
You’ve done it before and you can do it now. See the positive possibilities. Redirect the substantial energy for your frustration and turn it into positive, effective, unstoppable determination.’ -Ralph Marston
I don’t think I could have found a more suitable quote for me. Sometimes when life seems to give us more than our fair share of sh1t. We need to use that energy and frustration and turn it into something positive.
Day 10 50 squats done if I do the other that will be 1,000 squats. Had to get the massage gun out today though to alleviate some muscle I didn’t know I had!!
Here’s a poem to my younger self;
A message to my self
If I could take a step back in time.
Talk to the young girl whom would live the woman’s decline
I’d tell her there are treasures more precious than gold
And she is so privileged she already holds
She is amongst Queens when it comes to her health
For amongst the sick and the poor she has the wealth
But for some reason she doesn’t see the beauty inside
See wants to fit in and no longer hide
She’s going away, doesn’t want to go red
So stupidly she goes on the sunbed instead
Blissfully unaware of the damage she’s caused
And the future body she’s already scarred
For her moment of vain
In years to come, she would feel the pain
Years will go by and in a twist of fate
A holiday in the white isles she finds her mate
Then along come the children a girl and a boy
To fill her heart with so much joy
A few years go by not without a few highs and lows
But from these times she learns and each time she grows
Then the day does come which most people fear
She holds it together but not without a tear
Deep down she knows this isn’t the end
For positivity and determination happen to be close friends
The treatment will feel like she can’t carry on
But despite the pain she does until it is gone
The mistakes that she’s made she puts on show
By writing about the tales of her woes
But unfortunately, this wasn’t the happy ending she sought
A few years from now there’s another battle to be fought
This time it’s far harder than the last
And she would need the same grit and determination she had in the past
But she’s done it before and will do it again
For future, past and present she won’t let cancer win
Lessons Learnt
Don’t ever over expose yourself in the sun (especially not naked you could get arrested in some countries). Factor 50 is your friend. It’s great for wrinkles too. Please don’t ever use a sunbed it’s 2023 these things should be banned.
Look after your health it really is the most valuable asset you have in your power.
If you’ve had your fair share of pain you’ve survived until today you can survive tomorrow.
‘If your actions create a legacy that inspires others to dream more, learn more, do more and become more, then you are an excellent leader.’ – Dolly Parton
Inspire others
Day 9 of the squat challenge and today I’m feeling really tired. I think a combination of a late night, the mental draining from writing each day and just generally feeling physically sore is kicking in today. I can tell I’m tired because unfortunately I don’t have the patience for the kids when I’m like this. Normally around this time I’m due to take some medication and I can’t deal with constant questions of ‘why’. It’s a bit like being really hangry and tired at the same time but not always feeling hungry. One of my kids in particular is very inquisitive shall I say and this can be a real struggle on days like this. Don’t worry after my tea (not dinner we’re northern) I’ll make sure I sit down and have a chat, that’s if I’m allowed in their room! (the joys of teenagers). Usually the questions (battle) are life threatening events such as going out somewhere, wi-fi, phones or what’s for tea. I think that pretty much sums up everything.
I did go to a personal trainer this morning. I thought bout cancelling but I didn’t and despite me feeling tired I just got something done. Sometimes we feel like that and sometimes just doing a bit is better than nothing. I’ve been going for a couple of weeks now (just once a week) because although I am quite dedicated when it comes to exercising, I definitely need tips on exercises and technique and some times a little push when I otherwise wouldn’t. The rest of the afternoon I’ve literally slept and looking outside now it’s pitch black. The dark nights have set in now which I know makes it a lot harder for those of you who are planning on exercising tonight rather than get in your comfy pyjamas and sit in front of the fire. It’s like our bodies want to go into hibernation mode, sometimes we have to fight that off and do it. So, if you do, do that I promise I’ll get the rest of my squats done and take the dog for a walk in the dark, cold and rain how’s that for a deal?
The reason why I put the above quote up today was that as I was getting out of my mum’s car after the gym, she told me that she too has started doing 50 push ups off the kitchen top (not stood on the kitchen top I hope). She said she breaks it up into manageable 25 sets and is working towards doing 100. How amazing is that! I think inspiring others to do more and learn more is a precious gift and does feel warm and fuzzy inside. There are so many people that inspire me in a variety of aspects of my life, battling cancer, facing challenges, being a better person. No-one knows everything we can all learn a do more if we are open to listen to others. We might not always agree with their opinions but you never know you might just learn something new.
I often ponder on why and our purpose in life and I think ultimately to inspire others what an achievement that would be. Listening to Steve Back shall last night he was very passionate about inspiring the net generation to ultimately save the oceans, rare species and the planet. I think looking around the room there will definitely be a young generation that care about our planet and hopefully take action inspired by him and many others Sir David Attenborough being one.
So, whatever your passion is in life as long as its for the greater good please continue to inspire others.
You’re never too old to learn something new. I learnt this last night when I didn’t have a clue what half the oceans habitat are called.
‘None of us, including me ever do great things. But we can all do small things, with great love, and together we can do something wonderful’ – Mother Teresa
The Three Amigos decide to Stand Up to Cancer
Now if you have previously read some of my blogs you may have come across a couple of tales about the three amigos, Brain, Body and Bottom. These three friends are connected to a slightly vertically challenged (now middle-aged woman). For the purpose of these stories, we will call her Miss Determination (even though now she’s a Mrs and maybe not so much determined but more stubborn (as her husband likes to remind her most days!)
Anyway, the three amigo’s Brain, Bottom and Body had watched Stand Up to Cancer last Friday evening and as much as they enjoyed the programme it really upset them. All of all the stories of people affected by cancer. In particular one young girl who was just 11 and sadly died of cancer after also losing her mum to cancer.
As the three friends sat there together tissues in hand wiping away the tears Bottom said ‘It’s so sad, we need to do something to help these people’.
Body who was shaking from the crying said ‘I agree we need to fight back’.
Brain said ‘I have an idea I have seen these 100 squats a day challenge, why don’t we give it a go and raise some money for research?’
To which Bottom replied ‘Squit challenge won’t that be messy?’
No said Brain ‘SQUATS’. ‘You know where you bend your knees and then lift up. It’s supposed to be really good to get a firm bottom, Bottom.’
‘I’m not sure I can do the squats you know Brain I’ve got a sore leg from playing football,’ said Body.
‘Don’t worry ‘said Brain ‘we can think of something similar to do. What about sit ups maybe?’
‘Yes, I can do them no problem!’ said Body.
‘Great!’ said Brain. ‘To be honest I think I will struggle counting. It’s not my strong point at the moment my head get all fuzzy and I lose concentration.’
‘Don’t worry,’ said Body. ‘I have a clicker counter from my old days on the doors we can use that’.
Bottom was looking rather sheepish then said ‘you know what I’m really nervous if I squat too much what if I trump and have an accident? I haven’t got a spare pair of undies since I blew a hole in my other ones.’
‘Don’t you worry,’ said Body. ‘I have got a new pair of special Lycra ones you can borrow not only do the tuck your tummy in the well keep you trumps in too’.
Bottom looked down at his tummy then looked at the other two and they all laughed.
‘Right then’ said Brain ‘we need to set a schedule and pick a time we can do it together. I’ve developed a timetable and marked each day for the whole month on the calendar’. To which the other two smiled and rolled their eyes back. Secretly they know if they ever needed a robust plan to stick too Brain was the girl for the job.
So, every day for the whole of the month the three friends would get together as planned and do their squats and sit ups. Brain would get the counter and click every time they did a rep. Bottom would laugh every time, she made a noise but was thankful for the stretchy pants. Body was also glad that she could join in despite being injured.
Some days the three friends would have to break up the squats into smaller sections just because they were short on time. The main thing is they got them done. 100 squats/sit ups a day for 30 days.
Bottom could definitely feel her cheeks getting firmer. Body could feel her stomach getter tighter and Brain could manage to count each rep more than she thought she could have.
The End of the Challenge
It was day 30, the last day of the challenge. The three friends had religiously stuck to the challenge. At times they thought about stopping especially as it hurt so much but then they each thought of the little girl in the programme and carried on through gritted teeth and clenched cheeks!
‘That’s it’ said Brain ‘we’re done, how fantastic it that’. Body looked up and smirked which suggested she didn’t agree.
‘What’s the matter Body?’ asked Brain.
‘I feel like I’ve not fully done the challenge,’ said Body.
‘Don’t be stupid’ said Brain, ‘you adapted it because there was something you couldn’t do. You stuck to the challenge showing other people they too can adapt to suit their physical needs’.
‘I guess you’re right’ said Body sticking her chest in a proud sort of way.
Brain looked at their donation page. She turned to the others slightly disappointed and said ‘unfortunately we haven’t met our donation target’
Bottom looked at the two friends and said ‘that doesn’t matter at all. Remember that little girl, we did it for her and for people like her. Together we stood up for cancer to inspire others to do the same and give people hope, that’s what matters.’
‘You’re always so right,’ said Brain.
Then the three amigos gave each other a big hug. They all felt really proud of themselves and deservedly so.
‘Right then who’s getting in the bath first?’ asked Body clutching her stomach.
Day 8 100 squats done!
Sorry it’s a bit late for today but I got it done in the end, keep going everyone and thank you for reading
