Today it’s day 16 of the 100 squat a day challenge/ I’ve already done my 100 for today so feeling good that I’ve not left it until late on. I’ve had a nice catch up with a friend and then hoping to maybe spend some time with Ste later on.
Quote of the day
‘Words are never quite the thing they describe, but that is also their use. They can help externalise internal things. The moment we try and turn a thought into words we place it into a shared world. This shared world we call ‘language’. Once we take our personal unseen experiences and make them seen, we help others, and even ourselves, to understand what we are going through. What we say aloud can never quite capture what we feel inside, but that is almost the point. Words don’t capture, they release. – Matt Haigh ‘The Comfort Book’ P32
It’s Only Words
How often when someone asks the question ‘are you ok?’ do you reply back ‘fine/good’ or something very similar. When deep down inside how you’re feeling is the absolute total opposite. There are number of factors which may stop you from disclosing your true feelings, some I can think of are;
is it’s not the appropriate audience
you don’t really want to disclose your feelings to a total stranger
you’re in a rush and have other priorities
you can’t think of the words to say
the person who is asking is a nosey b@st”rd and has genuinely no interest in your feelings
I mean you wouldn’t want to be telling some poor stranger at a coffee shop that in fact you’ve just had a massive row with your partner, you’re really hormonal and think that your boss is a total nob. They don’t really care they just want to know how you like your coffee and if you would like to be robbed of an additional 40p just for having a different kind of milk.
Writing my blogs I feel like I am talking to people. Letting them know how I’m feeling in the hope that if someone is feeling the same way but also struggling to find the words to say they know they are not alone in their thoughts. It also helps me and others understand what I am going through then I don’t have to have the same questions you get when people know you are ill. I definitely get more then 10,000 words out in my head a day that’s for sure.
I always find my words and blogs give me a sense of relief and release. I always try to be honest in my thoughts, feelings and experiences. I write things I don’t think I would ever be able to articulate in the same way. I know this for a fact, I had been offered therapy. I did go to a handful of sessions. For me though I didn’t honestly feel comfortable talking. It brought with it more negative emotions than positive maybe that was a good thing to maybe addressing my feelings who knows. I am totally not saying that you shouldn’t speak to a therapist. Please do if there is something that you are struggling with and bottling up inside and you feel you can only talk to a stranger then do it.
For me though my way of talking is through writing my words. I think it’s probably because I don’t get questions back. It’s a one-way conversation and I’m in charge! (not like at home) I’ve often thought should I try a different medium to writing maybe a podcast. Would this interest more people as time is precious and often a lot of people don’t always make the time to sit down and read There are a couple of obstacles to trying this though.
My local nasally twang
My aphasia, I’m not really sure whether this would kick in or not.
Maybe I should try reading out loud one of my blogs. Who knows it could possibly work as a sleeping aid for insomniacs??
So, for know I’ll just stick to my Daily blogs for November and hope that you continue to enjoy them.
Maybe if you also aren’t ready to talk to the world about how you are feeling why not start by writing those feelings down, even if they are for your eyes only. Also, if you happen to ask someone if they are ok. Maybe look at their body language too that can sometimes say a lot more. Then ask again ‘are you really, ok?’ Sometimes they might just be struggling to find the words.
Don’t ever feel like you are all alone there is always someone there to listen and help. Here are some services which may help you;
