Not all Superheroes Wear Capes

Quote of the day

• ‘A hero is someone who has given his or her life to something bigger than oneself’ – Joseph Campbell
• Real courage is doing the right thing when nobody’s looking. Doing the unpopular thing because it’s what you believe, and the heck with everybody.’  – Justin Cronin

Hero

When you look up the word hero in the English dictionary the definition is ‘a person who is admired for having done something very brave or having achieved something’. For me it’s hard to think of specific heroes, mine had always been sporting heroes or fictional heroes in books like He-Man or the less popular She-raa as I think that’s what was taught in school. Sporting heroes like Daily Thompson, Linford Christie, Sally Gunnel, Frank Bruno and Alan Shearer (I’m really showing my age here!!). Now I’m not by any means saying these are not heroes. These are true sporting legends that dedicated their lives to their sports and ones whom in 2022 most likely don’t have as many TikTok or Instagram followers as the two I’ve just googled top 10 TikTok followers ‘

1. Charli D’Amelio
2. Addison Rae

Whom I can honestly say I’ve only heard of 1 of them and that’s because of my kids. See heroes aren’t always the ones most celebrated or in fact known.

Heroes can make mistakes

At one point for many years in my 20’s my hero was Lance Armstrong many years before I even knew cancer would enter my world in a way it has. I was so in awe of this man whom had over come such adversity yet achieved so much in his cycling career. At the time me and Ste were so obsessed with this figure I had his book which I read and at the time was an achievement in itself as I didn’t read many books. I also remember we bought a load of the Lance Armstrong yellow bands to sell and donate to charity. It was our way of trying to help a friend who was diagnosed with a rare form of Leukaemia at the time. Not only had this man achieved so much he also happened to date one of my all-time favourite musicians and singers Sheryl Crow. For me this man ticked all the boxes.

When he was later charged in 2012 for a doping scandal, I felt somewhat betrayed. Although this man would never know me from Adam (sorry any Adam’s reading this) I couldn’t help but feel everything I had admired about was all based on lies. Now I don’t know why Lance Armstrong did what he did only he knows that and was probably in no doubt put under immense pressure to consistently perform and be the best. At the end of the day, he’s human and we all make mistakes and do things we regret but it’s how we turn those mistakes into something positive that shows true resilience in a person.

True Hero’s

‘A hero is someone who has given his or her life to something bigger than oneself’ – Joseph Campbell

See now to me true heroes are the everyday people who just go about their day-to-day business. The ones whom go above and beyond and don’t expect anything in return. Not the ones who buy a homeless person a happy meal and post it on social media with the slogan hashtag ‘humble’ or ‘be kind’. The ones who volunteer 1,000’s of hours to a cause or community they love. The ones whom go around picking up other people’s rubbish just because it’s the right thing to do. The ones who stay late when they should be at home with their family, partners or kids hours ago just because they were needed by (hopefully) a bigger cause.

When you look at the quote above from Joseph Campbell one person that springs to mind is actually my mum and I know that is so cliché’. But she has dedicated most of her life to being a nurse starting off as a young midwife then as a practice nurse. Often doing long hours, to which I don’t really remember seeing her, but she always made sure she left tea out for me and my sister (even if it was more often than not a salad with jacket potatoes or boiled chicken in the slow cooker with half a tub of black pepper shoved on). Did she do it for the money certainly not as we all know unfortunately what nurses get paid, she did it because she loved it. That’s why when she takes me out in town. I often winch about the amount of time it takes. As she literally talks to every Tom, Dick, Harry or Brenda, people that she has either delivered their babies or they have been a patient, or she has worked with them or more recently she plays bowls with them! Whilst I stand their struggling to keep up with the conversation, feeling dizzy and a bit of a headache coming on (put it this way if I had a glass eye it would well and truly be in a coma in these situations). But this Yoda like figure is still my hero and just so happens to be the best mum and grandma I could wish for.

My Guardian Angel

I feel this blog wouldn’t be this blog if it wasn’t for a few heroes’ whom have helped me on this 5-year journey. One of them is my Oncologist Professor Ruth Board who in February 2022 was very deservedly named Honorary Clinical Professor. This remarkable lady has been with me on this journey since 2017 (somewhat like my guardian angel Ste said). It’s only recently I happened to say at an appointment something like ‘have you read my blog’ to which she said ‘no’ that I realised I either hadn’t told her or I had previously and she had forgot (or maybe thought it was sh!t and didn’t want to say). See as a patient you remember Doctors, Nurses, Oncologists, Surgeons so vividly. Yet you don’t realise that to them not that you’re just a number but they see so many people during not only their day but their career that they’re lucky if they get your name right.

For me I can remember quite vividly the Dr at ENT (Ear Nose and Throat) whom told me of my Melanoma diagnosis. I was on my own to which he was astounded but when I was told to come in to discuss the results, I wasn’t told to bring anyone with me so I just went on my own. The Dr who’s name I can’t remember just kept apologising and asked if I wanted to call my husband to which I said no as I thought it won’t change the outcome. I also remember the nurse stood in the corner with a box of tissues had a tear in her eye and offered me a tissue (I felt like saying do you want one). I also remember the skin care nurse whom happened to make me an awful cup of tea (I never forget a rubbish brew).

See as patients we can be quite selfish in that we don’t realise the impact it has on the people whom take care of us. We selfishly forget that these are also humans whom have their own families, relationships and everyday stresses to deal with outside of their not 9-5 jobs.

I remember Professor Board being on holiday when I had a really bad reaction to my Immunotherapy back in 2017. See my timings of being ill and in need of medical assistance always seems to be around

a. when people are on annual leave

b. on a weekend when no-one is available

Something I need to work on in the future maybe. I just remember as the days went on, I was getting worse and worse. I was moved to a side ward and there were a few times where I genuinely thought this was it. It felt like I was in a gold fish bowl not quite with it but had a distorted view of what was happening. People were coming in and out of the room taking lots of blood samples, there were talks about having an operation to remove my gal bladder but I sort of knew that wasn’t the right thing to do.

Professor Board whom was probably up until this point had been enjoying Pina Coladas on a nice sunny beach somewhere replied to emails giving recommendations on what it could be to the Doctor that was on duty at the time.  See at this time Immunotherapy was pretty new in the UK and I don’t think I’m out of term in saying that the reaction (which resulted in an extremely painful rash, swollen body, and stomach, extremely high liver function and being put on oxygen) I had wasn’t one they had come across before certainly at the Rosemere ward so they didn’t really know what to do.

It was only when Professor Board returned from holiday that she got me on the right medication that I made a full recovery. See I genuinely think she saved my life which I’m sure she has done with many patients and that’s not giving disservice to the amazing team that help and support her doing the job she does, or the doctors that were on duty at the time. It’s just that if she had just taken the sod it, I’m on holiday or 9-5 approach I might not be here to tell you this tale.

Selfishly I would like my oncologist to be in my pocket all the time a bit like a security blanket. However, that’s not possible and I have a new oncologist whom I have every faith in. Along with the fantastic skin care nurses (some of which have been there since the start as well), not forgetting the neurologists, doctors and occupational therapists that help me along the way.

Average Joes

We can’t all be heroes like my oncologist team, Florence Nightingale or Marie Curie. But we can maybe strive to be better, kinder people. In that if we see people struggling offer them a hand. Maybe volunteer for a few hours. It doesn’t have to always be our money we donate. The most valid possession is our time and hopefully due to everyday superheores we have that in abundance.

Lessons Learned

• Not all heroes wear capes some wear gowns and uniforms or invisible cloaks.
• If I am ever given the opportunity to go on master chef. Boiled slow cooker chicken with black pepper will not be my chosen comfort food.
• Giving time to helping others can be one of the most rewarding jobs
• Look at your role models and people whom you admire. Maybe see if you can master some of those qualities.
• Health professions can only do so much with the medicine, tools and time they are given. We have the responsibility to take care of ourselves too.